predictive fantasies

It’s been far too long since I updated this, but I needed a bit of a break and needed some new energy to fill this space and fill my head. The blog was, to quote my friend, the German, “Getting too cerebral and needs just more raw sex“. He is right, but I’ve had no real sex to share (been locked a month)  and nobody has told me grand stories of theirs yet either (except for Kiwi) so I am writing one more cerebral post and then will hopefully talk about penises, metal, and plastic again really soon.

Since the last post Thumper and I had a pleasant day and a half together about two weeks ago. The planned fisting did not happen and, since this is my post, I will say it was 100 percent his fault that it didn’t and that “he teased with that ass and then, in the end, pulled his pants up“. However, that would be absolutely false because there was about an equal level of non interest in it because we both had a shit load of things happen that week and the ability to throw one’s legs in the air like one just doesn’t care was not there. It was one of those visits where the friendship dominated the domination and that was absolutely fine – though I did make him carry my bag a few times. We had a nice time and even continued our unfortunate trend of accidentally choosing awful lunch places (I wanted Korean BBQ- he didn’t – or something like that) that look good on the surface and then said our non-sexy goodbyes for what will likely be the longest gap we have gone since he’s spending the summer in Asia with his family and I am, breaking news, spending almost the exact amount of time, during the same months, in Australia and New Zealand.

With that reality being nothing near the fantasy, the entire concept of fantasy versus reality has been spinning in my head. There have been so many times in my sexual life that the fantasy outweighed the reality and very few where the reality outweighed the fantasy.  Starting with the good, I will place Thumper in the “more than I could have expected” category because the reality of him and our unique D/s-ish friendship is not anything I knew exactly how to fantasize about yet knew that one day I would have it. The irony in that is since it happened so fast after Axel and I opened our relationship, I think I somehow expected that this would work the exact same way in all respects and, while it hasn’t been, there are more and more examples that come to mind such as my friendships with Steelwerks, Jeep, and, of course, Mack, that make every negative reality version just a bit more okay as I have had some amazing explorations.

On the negative side, there are literally too many examples in the fantasy great/reality bad category to list, but they range from me being immensely attracted to an idea I want to do with Axel only to have the plane be delayed and he be asleep when I get home or both of us just being pissy from the week and very non touchy to meeting a Master that looked amazing on paper and in reality had such a dormant dominant presence in person that he cried (remember the fireman?)It’s like looking at and planning amazing bondage and then remembering that you are no longer 27 and can’t bend that way anymore or planning a meal with Ferns – things just don’t happen as the fantasy predicted.

Of course, this isn’t limited to just sexual things. I did accept the promotion at work I had mentioned previously and, while the title, increase and cool factor was stellar and too good to even question, the reality of that fantasy is now “fuck, I fucking have to do this and make this happen. Oh fuck” (and, as an FYI, the timing was that this was offered the day prior and the terms negotiated and finalized literally minutes before I met Thumper – thus the non fisting mood on my part). I am not saying it’s a bad thing, but it is a thing and, since this is an easier topic to discuss with friends, I know I am not alone in that and my thought patterns are exactly what they are in the sexual situations and, you know what, they all have the same.

The thing is, as I thought about this, I realized that I have been so much better at accepting the risk of bad reality and just going with the fantasy and think that is my new mantra for the coming years. It’s also something I am going to push those around me to do as well. So, pardon the direct conversion within the post to a just a few, but this means: Mack, go find Master Hunter. German, bring it on and I am willing.  And Thumper, get your ass ready for when we both get back and Self, go have fun despite work.

Anyone else want to make a vow to fulfill a few fantasies?  It can’t really hurt. That much. (unless that’s your fantasy and then I hope it does)

Fisting Rabbits.

Hi from the sky again. I am on my way to see Thumper, and do some work too. It’s always a plus when both are in the same city. Speaking of pluses, last night Mack and I were in the same place as well. He was just missing me so he flew all the way from Australia to have two drinks with me. That’s a friend. Of course I am leaving out the part about him already being in the US for weeks and a wedding and family and all those minor details because it just sounds better to make it about me. Right?

Anyway, he and I were talking about the blog for some reason and he said, “okay, you need to write some sexy posts, some kinky posts, some smutty posts, just something. I mean, there’s only so many ways to talk about your husband’s health and your friendships with people like me.” He was right even though he had essentially just called my writing boring and essentially stale. That said, neither of us could think of anything to write about that would fit those categories he listed.

So, I thought and thought and decided, that since he called me stale, I would just talk about him and his personal kinks, but decided that the fact he likes to wear high heels and lipstick while naked and in chastity before eating peanut butter off the bellies of really overweight men while having them call him “doll” might not be something he would want out in the inter-webs.  So, I will think of something else and save this and other Mack fetishes like what he does with his salad bowls for another time**.

I guess this will qualify if I talk about that in a few days I am planning to fist Thumper. Planning is the key word here because he’s got a slight medical thing and I have a weird calendar thing, so it may not happen, but the shear fact I am/we are planning to do it says a lot about how far we have both some in our kinky spectrum. For me, fisting is something I never thought I would do in life and, up to maybe a year ago, something that actually turned me off to a degree. Having never really been that into the backside until Thumper, it seemed like an impossibility to me because one, I have giant hands and, two, I just never thought enough about it to even study it. On the reverse, three months ago I would have told you I never had an interest in having it done to me and, while I can’t yet say I actually do, I will say that the interest is at least there mildly, so that alone is a giant step.

Speaking as the one with the inside arm this week, there are many elements about this that satisfy my Dominant Drew side immensely and make it feel like that, after almost three years, Thumper and I have reached a giant slippery milestone that is akin to the actual claiming of his ass. Though I am not sure Belle would appreciate me planting a flag there, the base of that flagpole has been building for years and, as much as my now surely dead etiquette teacher, Miss Beverly, would politely and gently scream at me for talking about such things in public, that ass will indeed be mine after that because me and my solid hairy forearm will have claimed it first. I tell you, it’s moments like this I wish kinky sex had actual KPI’s and performance reviews, cause Thumper and I deserve a star or two and a cost of fucking salary increase.

Me being me, I have to admit that I wonder what is the next milestone for he and I? He’s already reached some many performance benchmarks with his ability to take and carry massive plugs for over 14 hours, I am not sure what’s next or how we add to that. Of course, the really submissive slutty side of him would want me to now open this up to reader suggestions as to how I should torment him next, I wont do that because I know that he and I will figure it out swiftly and, at least for him, painfully.

So, I guess time will tell what’s next in that ass, or mine, but reaching a new milestone will surely be fun.

**If you are into lipstick, heels, or peanut butter off fat men, my apologies and no judgement. Oh, and salad bowls too.

Drew’s specification

Drew sent me a text yesterday telling me to go in the bathroom and take off my underwear and go commando the rest of the day and he wanted proof that it happened. I was in a meeting at the time and couldn’t do it right away, but when I had the opportunity, I went into the large stall in the bathroom (the one a construction worker looked down into that one time and saw me in the Halfshell) and made him a video of me taking off my shoes and pants, stripping my underwear off (an old jock strap) and puting everything but the underwear back on, hoping the whole time nobody came in and caught a glimpse through the crack in the door of the odd behavior. The jock went into my pocket and then my computer bag. In fact, it’s still there.

I sent the video and he told me that for the rest of the week, unless I was carrying a plug in my ass I had to go without underwear. And if I had a plug in, the underwear had to be skimpy. This is a bit of challenge since I’m in the Steelheart this week and it’s heavier than the other devices I wear and it’s not comfortable to wear commando. The only option, of course, was to put in a plug. The XXL WMCBP is what I chose.

Issue is, for me, that the thong I’m wearing pushes the plug all the way in all the time, especially when I’m walking around. It feels exactly like someone’s following me and holding it in as far as it’ll go with their fingers. I mentioned this to Drew who thought that sounded awesome so, since I had to come home to deal with a carpet install, he told me to take the opportunity to replace the XXL with the XXXL plug. So…I have that to look forward to. I’ll do it after the carpet guy leaves.

After the jump, I’ve included the image I sent to Drew this morning as proof I was plugged and wearing the type of underwear he specified.

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