Happy 2016

 

On behalf of Axel, Thumper, and even Stella, we wish you a Happy New Year full of kink, control, desire, and that oh so good kind of pain.

Many thanks for your readership during 2015 and I am looking forward to an even better 2016 as new adventure is surely around the corner.

Best,

Drew

The Kinkiest Thoughts

My week off of work has turned into one of the kinkiest weeks in a long while. Collars. Leashes. Hoods. Paddles. Plugs. Fucking. Sucking. Bondage. Chastity. Clamps. Leather. Steel. Spandex. Hell, even a bit of wood.

Sadly, all of these things have been in my head and not on, in, or near my body. With everything going on to get our house finished and ready for a walker (I bought new tennis balls for the tips today just because I think it’s funny), I am not dismayed or sad or anything about the lack of action on my part, because I am just happy to have the kinky feelings back with a vengeance as they slid away a bit, though never far, during the emotional and busy months of the Fall. In addition, for me, kinky feelings always push the need to work out and make my body better, so the gym is a nice side to this too.

It’s funny too because this blog has resulted in a few potential playmates who fit PERFECTLY into my switchy world and who would be so much fun to use, abuse, and challenge (and, in the case of one, the Sir mentioned in November, having those words applied to me) but all of them, ALL of them are based in Australia, the place I will likely not be going back to often, if at all, as my project I have worked on for two years there just wrapped with my last visit. Is this just Murphy’s law at its finest or what?

However, with these men and these possibilities, I am not letting the lack of immediate travel stop me and am enjoying getting to know them more while learning and growing more as a Dom or a sub from all of them. And, in turn, I hope they are getting the same experience from me that I am them. Hell, one of them, the sub I mentioned in November, now has his dick locked and a plug in most days because of my conversations with his Sir. And, even better, he has actually thanked me for that.

On the home front, people keep asking of Axel has a bell for when he needs something in the first week or two that he and I will be home at the same time. We laugh that off because, one, the house is not that big and, two, in this modern world we inhabit he can text, but between us, we like the idea of a shock collar or plug that could be used to signal a need for service. While we’d never really do that, isn’t that a great idea? I am sure there are things that exist that would serve that purpose, but with the right marketing campaign, just think of the potential, huh?

Finally, on the personal front, I have to credit a lot of these feelings to “the break” Thump and I are on, or were on, or had, or whatever. We don’t discuss it anymore and, to me, it doesn’t really matter. Anyway, the reason I say that is because I really have used it to explore that deep seeded emotional need I used to think was an absolute requirement in order to even think about being naked with someone in a kink sense or even in a fuck buddy sense, and I am learning that, for the newer me, this is not going to be such a dominant factor in the future. Be warned world!

So, that’s that. Now off to clean and think more perverted thoughts.

Post Holiday Dribble

Happy post Christmas!

I, for one, have to admit that I am glad it’s over and that the next stages of a new year can begin. Axel and I spent the holidays with my family on Christmas Eve and then drove to the depths of Alabama to his family on Christmas Day. It was a miserable experience as, according to the radar showing on the navigation screen in my car, we stayed under a purple blob of heavy rain and lightening from about the time we left until six hours later when we got there (it should take 4.5), only to have to immediately take shelter because of tornado warnings/sightings, which sadly, turned out to not be a false alarm in Mississippi and in the Birmingham areas. Now, it’s no secret that I am not a huge fan of my in-laws based on how they treated their son as he was growing up, but I try my best to be nice and get along, but I absolutely refused to die there with them in a group in the room of the center of the house, so I like to think I willed the storms away.

I did have a chance to chat with Thumper a bit Christmas night as this was happening and he too was having trouble with weather in Hawaii where he is spending the holidays. It seems that on Christmas Day, there was a cloud, possibly two, spotted and they apparently spit a few raindrops his way. He said people there were acting like it was normal, but I could tell he was shaken up a bit. I am kidding him, but knowing that he is going back to the frozen tundra where he lives, I am glad he’s able to soak up as much warmth and sun as he can now.

Speaking of Thump, last night he and I were on Twitter going back and forth about the size of his penis in a joking manner and I had to laugh because within an hour I had three messages. Two were telling me that I should be ashamed for making light of his smaller endowment with one of the two actually telling me that I needed to see a therapist, while the third was just an expression of how happy he was to see us joking again. All three made me giggle for three different reasons, but I thought I would warn everyone now that in less than two weeks he and I are <insert gasp here> spending time together and I may even sit really close to him at some point <begin clutching pearls here> so, for those so inclined, start mentally prepping your notes now, if nothing else but for my amusement.

That said, I am really looking forward to seeing him, just because it will be nice to be with a grounded kinky friend before the next phase of the year starts: Axel’s surgery. As that is now two weeks from tomorrow, I have found myself suddenly getting nervous again more so about the post surgery than the surgery itself. For that, I have been through the caregiver side before and, aside from the fact that this one is likely going to be ten or more hours, it’s the waiting game and he’s in great health otherwise so, aside from the standard worries, I am not overly concerned about the surgery itself. It’s the post stuff I am dreading because I have watched that once and I dread watching it again because with what he’s having done (which is more than a regular replacement but I have promised him I would not be specific) the initial act of standing, walking, and doing every day things are the looks on his face from the pain the first time that are still engrained and I just dread seeing that again. But, he and I discussed this yesterday, it’s pain that is toward the purpose of it going away versus his chronic pain now, so that is something to cling to and run with (literally in about six months). Also, it will be funny to see how much I blog about my weirdness with this because, last time, I turned into the most gentle of persons and wouldn’t touch him too hard, wouldn’t get near his leg, and would not dare touch the incision because, all counter logic aside, I thought I would break him. I am curious to see what I do this time, but I think I will be the same way. His wound will be between 14-18″ so even on a 6’4 guy, that’s really scary to see and, to be really honest, it’s right there in your face when being romantic, so it takes a bit of adjusting post immediate recovery period (during that I have promised to stay locked, fyi).

Also, as an update to all of this, the Scotts have turned out to be not what or who I thought they were going to be. I have mentioned that they had their own health issues to deal with, but Axel was building quite a nice relationship with them until a few weeks ago when it suddenly just stopped. Unfortunately, none of them really seem to be communicating with each other, and neither of them is with me, so it’s very puzzling as to what happened on their end. Axel and I both have our suspicions, but there are zero hard feelings with them but I hate to see the friendship part go away as well. In addition, selfishly, I was really counting on them to help us during the times I am traveling because I knew he would enjoy that, but I am not so sure now as to what, if any, role they are going to play in the immediate or long term future. Again, no hard feelings as I know they have things to deal with too, but I don’t deal well with vague and because of that I am irritated.

So, that’s that for this rambling post which is more of a check in than anything else. Axel and I are both home and mostly off work this week, so I hope there will be some nice kinky stories to share soon. Man, I hope that!

 

Plaster + Thumper = me

I’ve been missing from the blog-o-sphere and the twitter world the last week or so because of an accidental kitchen renovation that has taken most of my attention in addition to just my need to begin slowing down my year and wrapping up this, that and the other professionally.

The kitchen is done now (except for a baseboard I don’t like) and, in hindsight, the way this project started and proceeded was very similar to how some other things in my life, especially, this blog and my relationship with Thumper, started, developed, and continued as well.

In the Thumper case, this all pretty much followed the same path. First, there was a bit of curiosity which was followed by a bit of prying beneath the surface which was then followed by a giant action and lots of wood, drilling, pounding, and the need for many additional showers. Add to that some blood, sweat and a bit of debris while building, shaping and creating, something sentimental and lasting, in whatever final format that happens to be. The outcome turned out to be different than the fantasy, however, the current result is something just as good or even better and one I am proud to say that even our friendship represents me and my kinky life as it’s a great feeling to have someone who knows your deepest secrets.

You follow me here on this analogy?

If not, to tie that back to the kitchen case, last Friday on the third day of working from home and the last day of officially working for the year, I was on a particularly boring conference call and was wandering through the house just looking, touching, and thinking. Our kitchen had been 80 percent remodeled already (including the countertop drama that unfolded here earlier in the year), but there was this one wall that housed the refrigerator that we didn’t really know what to do with nor did we really want to touch because it was original to the 107 year old house and that’s asking for trouble. If you have ever lived in a historic home you know this, but things are never simple when the old plaster walls are involved and once you open a wound, it just keeps bleeding. So, as I wandered, I started looking at the opening of an old pantry that housed our current, smaller than normal sized (in the US) fridge. We had been wanting to get a new one, but knowing what might be involved because of the space limitations, we just put it off until Friday came and that was finally no longer an option. So, like me being me, while on this call I thought to myself, “Drew, wonder what’s behind that trim and if the opening could be any larger?” which then led to me getting a screwdriver to gently pry back the molding, you know, to just peek. The molding came off splendidly, however, with it also came about six feet of plaster from above and beside it (we have 12 foot ceilings downstairs). Luckily the call was still on mute and my now white dust covered self (not the mention the WHOLE house) stood there saying “fuck, fuck, fuckity, fuck, fuck, fuck” over and over again to myself thinking “Axel is so going to kill me“.

 

Since work was boring me and almost over, to the Lowes, Home Depot, and Five Guys (I was hungry) I went, not mentioning a thing of this to Axel until I had a plan. Arriving home I discovered more had fallen and even more dust was coating everything, including Stella, so I decided to just cast caution into the wind and started stripping the whole wall of the lathe and plaster and creating a giant debris mine that suddenly enveloped my whole weekend. Of course, that old house thing being that, once the walls were clean there was exposed knob and tube wiring still in the walls that needed to be changed, a weird pipe to nowhere – literally, and what appeared to be either a petrified squirrel or a lost pet kitten from 1909 all within the deepest secrets of the house’s bowels.

Still not mentioning this to Axel, once I saw the opening I was able to figure out how to get the extra 10″from the door frame, decided to use barn wood from my grandfather’s rotting barn he built in, coincidently, also built in 1907, and I went to town cleaning and making plans (literally and physically). Axel came home and was remarkably cool about the whole thing and kept saying things like  “you know, things just happen” one too many times before he revealed to me that he had parallel parked into a concrete wall earlier in the day himself, so we each silently released a giant “whew” knowing that neither could really be mad at the other and that neither of us had the right to say things like him, “you knew it was fucking plaster, why did you touch it” or me, “your car has eight or nice cameras and sensors that mean stop when they light up red and beep incessantly”.  Even though neither of us could say it, after we mentally sent those things to each other, we dusted off Stella and had a nice laugh as we each took care of the debris, mine literally and his with a call to State Farm.

Since then, I have kept a steady path of progress and things are finally finished and the wood from the barn looks amazing. But, most importantly, Axel and I are proud to announce the arrival of our new refrigerator, the Samsung, as we call it.

IMG_2665Finally, to tie this back together this is really all just about how my life goes these days, maybe it always has, with the peek and jump versus careful research and consideration. It’s working out well though, so I think I will keep it.

Today I will begin the process of cleaning the dirt from everything else before heading into the depths of Alabama tomorrow for a day with the in-laws. I wonder if I will meet Amy?  (old joke but some will remember).

 

The Christmas Key

As you know, Axel and I don’t practice the “traditional” method of chastity (as defined by most of the blogs out there). However, whichever method one chooses, THE key is still an integral part of the dynamic.

So, this year, for Christmas, I am giving Axel a special key. One that was designed for him in concert with The Axel. I asked for something masculine, discreet, yet different and, yet again, Steelwerks Extreme gave me exactly what I wanted.

Here is THE key to me. A heavyweight chrome ball with a hidden S key under the surface all attached to a threaded stem and perfectly suited to hide within the muggle key ring. You know, duality at its best.

Finally,

Joyeux Noël. Happy Christmas. Feliz Navidad. Zalig Kerstfeest. Fröhliche Weihnachten. Milad Mubarak. Mo’adim Lesimkha. Merit Kurisumasu.

Good Intentions. Bad sex.

It’s 2am and Axel and I just had sex. Maybe. Sorta. Perhaps?

Technically he had more sex than me, but not for the reasons you think, which makes this story even more sad.

So, pretending we had one of those TV show signs that announce the time in reverse, let’s start that way.

9:50pm – Axel arrives home.

In addition to the regular week before the holiday gang violence that tends to happen, which is then followed by the emergent crisis and need for counseling; Axel’s job is never easy. In addition, this time of year he has another side gig that keeps him working almost nonstop and he’s exhausted right along beside me. But, since I had been home all day and had gotten about 75% of the stupid paperwork type things I had to deal with when home done, I decided to be a bit spontaneous and stripped myself of everything I was wearing, except The Axel, when the app on my phone alerted me to the fact our driveway gate had just been activated. A few minutes later when he walked in, I was standing at the top of the stairs all titanium penis naked and looking alluring, I might add, which made him smile really really big which made me really really swoon. This was followed by a quick kiss hello. Score one for Drew, because someone was about to get luuuuuuuucky.

However, that impending luckiness and magic moment was quickly aborted when he said “this is great, but if you knew how bad I have to pee you’d, well, never mind, stay like that and I will go pee and then get all the stuff out of the car and blah, blah, blah”. My naked sexiness was suddenly replaced by guilt, and I quickly got dressed and helped unload the car.

Separate showers were followed by separate laptops and a shared American Horror Story (btw, if you watch, how many dead ex husbands can one hotel hold?) and, being that both of us have to work in a few hours, it was time to go upstairs and go to bed (fyi, further setting the scene, Stella is working this week at her week day job of taking care of old people, aka, keeping my mother and her mind on a schedule, so we didn’t have tiny judgmental eyes watching us).

On the way, he grabbed me, stripped me and playfully spanked me and we went to bed while he began to really fondle the metal, which, of course, way making it stand out even further which amused him. He asked some more questions about it, asked (again) how long Thumper and others had stayed locked up, and then his fingers began wandering which made the tube throb that much more.

Things were going great and I was loving the attention to the lack of attention when he said “Fuck, I could so keep you in there forever because it looks so sexy on you, but go unlock so I can have you come on me” WTF? He had just managed to contradict his key holding self in less than 45 seconds. While that should have been magic to my ears, my thoughts went to how hard this thing is to remove as the PA has to come out first and doing that while hard is not easy. So, I told him I want to lay there a bit which caused him to fondle more, which then caused the scrotal cuff to seize in a way that made it feel like a Rockette had just high-kicked me right in the gut, so I decided to go into the bathroom and see if I could get the famous S screws out. The master bath was currently being dimly lit by led lights I had added into the floor and they were lightly emitting a soft pinkish red tone (against carbon gray walls). So, I grabbed a solid white towel and sat naked in the floor taking it off, piece by piece. All was good until the smallest of the screws escaped my S key and went rolling somewhere far far away in the darkness and, as I was looking, that’s when Axel came in just as my pinkly lit ass was way in the air as if I was waiting for the porn music to begin at that exact same time. He loved it. I did not. And he found the screw was about 2 inches away from me which pissed me off. Kinda.

Now, 11:40pm – We should be sleeping

A bit later and a few quick sleeps for him, he climbed on top of me and, and at that moment, his new but damaged hip squeaked again like an old storm door somewhere in Iowa and, as an FYI, knowing it is your husband’s failing three year old body part (just out of warranty) (kidding) makes the fact that it feels like 20 sets of nails on a chalkboard even worse.

For the next month until the surgery and for about 6 months after that, I will always worry I am hurting him, but he assured me he was fine and really wanted this because he wanted me to come all over him (remember, he gets off on that). Then, as we are getting all settled into this new position, he just out of the fucking blue says, “I have wondered, how does Thumper satisfy Belle when he’s locked so long. Do you know how he does it?” – WTF, at that moment the last thing you want to hear about, from your husband, is about the orgasmic habits of your DILF’s wife, right? Of course, that opened my mind to the many posts and conversations I’ve had with Thumpie and I started telling tales of Thump’s fingers, his tongue, and those purple vibrators I have been with him when he bought.
So, with that, we’ve  now confirmed that, for me, thinking about female orgasms makes my penis go soft faster than thinking about a basket of dead kittens, so I had to take a break. We cuddled, he played with my penis and then he said “I need you to come on me tonight”

Well, being the courteous husband I am, I obliged him of that, got myself all straddled and ready and, as I was just right there, I had this weird flash of a headache that didn’t last for more than a few seconds, but it was strong and was just long enough to make me wonder if I was having a stroke. He was grinding away, but my mind was gone and right about that time, I started making the “Can I smile?”, “Can I frown?” faces the AHA has written guidelines about. While I suspected it was not stroke related at all, my mind was gone and I suddenly was hungry, so I just had to stop the activity right there, admit defeat, and let the little guy say goodnight which made us both sad, but, with a little help from me, he got to ejaculate like an 18 year old and I very much enjoyed seeing that. I wanted to pout, but it was my own fault for not going faster and for not trying some Jedi mind block I apparently now need to google how to do.

So, that’s my tale of trying to get tail and, as you can see, this was not my lucky night! (although I am swinging free at the moment!)

I am supposed to be locked again my noon tomorrow, and, in reality, that’s probably safer.

 

Time to Breathe

I’m going home. In a twist of scheduling madness, the rest of my week cancelled leaving me done with travel for the week and, most importantly, for the year (aside from the in-laws at Christmas – argh)

I’m done. On. A. Tuesday.

It’s like madness in my head as I sit in the SkyClub in Atlanta right now thinking of all the things I need and want to do that don’t involve talking to strangers or writing anything. Of course, I really do have work work to do, for and about work, but the fact that I can do that in my pajamas (which is pretty much a shirt, a jockstrap and the Axel) just makes me all giggly inside at this moment.

It’s funny because, even after this whole year of failed vows due to life, career, and a shifting of friend and fuckships, my mind immediately went to the kinky side of life and I started making vows to myself about being locked for 19 days, finally using all those expensive ass toys we bought, walking around naked, sending nasty pictures to Thumper, Kiwi, Ferns, the Scotts, and planning a day of kinky adventure in Canada with Steelwerks. BUT, while I may actually do all of those things, I have learned from the year and now refuse to tell you that I will now because it creates this weird pressure inside me I do not want to have to have right now.

Of course, I am immediately contradicting myself by now saying that I will work out more because my laziness has started to show with a paunchy stomach and flapping arms, but I am breaking up with fitocracy because I realized that having to log a workout and then show it to the twitter verse did NOT motivate me. In fact, it took me to the same place as having to make a CRM entry after a work meeting and, in all honesty, I would not work out simply because I didn’t want to enter it. How lazy is that?

Of course, my competitive side is kicking in so, of all my promises to me I have made me, I will most likely keep this one because Axel is going to start looking better soon and in less than a month I see Thumper, the current exercise champion. He looked good the last time I saw him and, with his treadmill reign of late, I am sure he looks better, so I have to at least stay close to his league because that bunny has been busy. Is that vain? yup, but, life is hard when you hang out with pretty people (listen close and you will hear Thump roll his eyes to that phrase, even though it was a compliment to him)

In addition, it’s ironic how life on the road can make one’s house messier since one is never there, but it does because I unpack in a tornado and re-pack in a hurricane leave debris strewn about that sits there week after week, so my other goal is to take a literal drawer or cabinet and clean one a day which, when I think about it, is almost the exact same thing I have done in my mind almost every week over the last year. By that, I mean I have uncluttered 44 years of repressed kinky thoughts little by little each week and I write this a better man, with a semi usable penis, a year and a month after I started feeling so much more comfortable in my own skin.

And, the other goal is to be relaxed as much as possible and recover from 157 flights, 178 hotel nights, and 247,000 miles of travel last year because I am worn the fuck out. I have to be the strong one at home for a few months as the year starts, so I might as well rest now because Axel on a walker can be very demanding.

On the kink and relationship front, all is good with Axel, all is good with the Scott’s, and all is good with Thumper.

When it’s all said and done, life is good now and life is happy, kinky or not and I have 19 days in my own bed to think about it.

Happy Anniversary, Prince

Just a quick note to say happy anniversary to both my penis and to Thumper’s as today, at noon CST, marks one year for me and seven for him with a shiny piece of steel poking through our most private of places. Also, before anyone asks, if you remember, Thumper made my appointment for me last year at the place that did his and he went with me to be poked. Then, in reading his past posts about the experience, we realized that my appointment was on the exact same day and, even worse, at the exact same time as his, which was a very odd coincidence, but also one of those things that happened to us often back then a lot and, to this day, still does occasionally.

As for my year, it’s been interesting because I feel that the steel has opened up far more than just a hole on the underside of my dick because its helped me open my mind in so many more ways. For that, I will always think of the experience as worth it and enjoyable. Even with that bit           o’blood Thump still turns white about when discussing!

So, happy anniversary, Alberts. Here’s to many more.

 

Simple

I’ve been quiet over the last few days, which is mostly due to the fact that work and the impending holidays have just slammed me in an end of year travel and report writing frenzy. It’s funny, Thumper and I were talking the other day about postings and trying to keep a schedule and, though I don’t remember what his advice was, I do remember feeling better about it and thinking that time will come when it comes and if it’s days or even weeks between postings, it is what it is, simple as that.

That said, while I have been quiet, my penis has not been. With the arrival of the final piece of the Axel device, the new locking curved barbell, I have finally been able to lock the device on the way it was designed to be locked and that has been quite the experience that is worthy of its own review soon, though multiple pictures, taken by me, of course, have made the Twitter rounds in an effort to show it off a bit and, more importantly, show off the work of Steelwerks Extreme, as, once again, I can’t say enough good things about them. They returned the favor to me with the following tweet that my penis thinks is one of the best compliments ever and he asked me to make sure I reposted that. He’s a vain one, he is.

Screen Shot 2015-12-09 at 11.57.30 AMSo, what surprised me has been a slight pushback from several of the diehard chastity guys I have followed about why me, a relative novice in the locking world would want a “perfect device” and why I “would dare have something so customized” when I only wear it a few days a week, if that and that they were “tired of seeing pictures that flaunt the fact I can take it on and off”. It was a weird mix of envy and made me feel a bit like I had missed a meeting and now my dues to the Chastity Club were late. In reality, I had to laugh at these comments. Multiple times. Frankly, I just put that here to let those guys who read this to just have that subtle “fuck off” directly from me so as to not allow them to think I didn’t notice. For me, it’s a piece of art designed by my friend for me and if I am not wearing it, just looking at it makes me happy, which is something all art should do. So, fuck off you three.

As for the wearing of all or just parts of it, it’s happening more and more but in my life there is no such thing as a regular schedule any more and I have stopped beating myself up about not having some plan in place. In addition, adding in the complications with Axel’s health and the impending months of being disabled, we just have more to think about now than ever, so when it brings us pleasure, it does. When it doesn’t, it doesn’t. Simple as that.