Hi all. Drew here. As you all have heard, I have a boy who we call Bolt. He’s at the start of a planned 100 day lockup – temporarily on the otherwise of the world – and decided to write a bit about how it feels. 

So, introducing Bolt, a guest writer here:

Getting what you ask for:

People often wish for things but how often do they get what they ask for?

They hope for things both big and small; such as win the lotto, make this light, land the perfect job, get the partner of their dreams, etc. For years I’ve wanted the same as many in the BDSM community have wanted, a good Dom to help achieve my goals. And, with this wish, I’ve gotten exactly what I asked for (and more).
I’ve always wanted a few things: someone to consistently submit to, a long term lock up (one year specifically), a good fitting comfortable chastity device, and to continue to expand my kink horizons. In this endeavor I have gotten all of that. Already.

Here’s the background on how this happened:
I met Drew by dumb luck. I was on a road trip and passing through his city, recognized his profile from twitter, and asked if he was interested in grabbing lunch to chat. We agreed to meet at a restaurant downtown for a late lunch, 1pm as I recall, and I set off from my family’s home in the neighboring state. As I set off on my journey, I planned for my normal drive time plus a buffer between locations since it’s a route I drive a few times a year, but this day there were unforeseen delays that made me quite nervous about making our meeting on time. Once on the road I learned there was a long back up on the highway from an accident, so off to the side roads I went to try and keep to my schedule, but alas this still ate into all my buffer time. Driving along Drew is ribbing me about picking me up from the top of the bridge naked over the apex of mighty Mississippi River. The entire drive I’m worried about being late and I end up not having time to stop for gas, but right on time I’m able to pull into downtown, on fumes, and find the closest parking spot to our lunch meeting. Frantically, I park the car and rush to the restaurant to find Drew relaxing in a booth waiting on me with his big cheesy smile he tends to give when he sees something he wants.
After a few minutes of chit chat and ordering lunch we get down to the meat and potatoes of our meeting, kink. Instantly, we hit it off and seemed to both want the same things. We are both switches, but I’m wanting to explore my sub side more while Drew wants to flex his Dom side. On all fronts we seemed to click including vanilla, kink, roles, and goals. We ended our lunch date excited to chat more, uncertain of what had actually just occurred.
Over the next few weeks we continued to get to know each other and explore our interests and it quickly became  apparent that we needed to hangout again, so Drew scheduled a trip to come to my home.
A few weeks later, Drew shows up for us to really get to know each other, there is good conversation, food, bondage, and of course chastity. It became pretty apparent that Drew wanted to collar me and I didn’t argue. He left town with me locked in chastity, a collar around my neck, and a plan for our rules of engagement for our soon to be Sir/Boy agreement. The next steps all fell into place so quickly, but I wouldn’t have had it any other way. In the week ahead, we hashed out the details, made it all official, started working on protocols, and set a start date for a “warm up” lock up of 100 days, which brings us to today.
After settling in on a long work trip and healing from gauging up my Prince Albert, I have started my 100 day lock up. We’re one week into it, so I wanted to share a few of my thoughts about my experience so far.
Easily the hardest part of the agreement for me. I’m terrible at keeping the lines of communication open and sticking to a regiment, so of course it’s one of Drew’s requirements. Protocols have been good though and I’m keeping up with them pretty well despite the fact that I’m now on the other side of the world for a few months.
Dom/Boy dynamic:
It’s been wonderful having each other to lean on while we both travel and explore our dynamic. Thankfully, we’re both reasonable because we have crazy schedules and some days it’s hard to talk. I can tell Drew is proud of me and it’s a great feeling. I’ve never been collared before and the mentorship is wonderful. Drew is constantly pushing himself to be kinkier since I’m a little more advanced on that front and I gladly help push him. I look forward to pupping out at his house and just generally being a good chastity boy for him in the future.

The easiest subject to talk about.
My steelwerks device is easily the most comfortable device I’ve ever worn, it’s great wearing it, and  I get more used to it. I’m already thinking it won’t take long until I’ll feel weird if I’m not locked. So far being locked hasn’t been too bad. As it’s only been two weeks without an orgasm, so I think the worst is yet to come. I’ve only woken up once at night due to erections and the daytime ones aren’t awful either, though you definitely know the instant you think about getting horny.

Overall, been great so far and I look forward to the coming months of lock up. Stay tuned for further updates.

Hello from the sky. I feel like I should start this post with a “heads up” that I am going to go a bit more personal than I typically do for multiple reasons. I realize that this being a pseudo sex blog where I rarely talk directly about sex is an odd format in many ways, but what I have also realized through the now years of writing this is that there is a group of men, and a few women, in the decade or two before me who are figuring out life and use these blogs, tumblr, and various other porn and information filled avenues to get a view on what a kinky person can look like and how they can exist in the real world full of with real world issues.

While I in absolutely no way profess to have the kink thing down at all, I do realize that the fact that since I outed myself in writing as the kinky gay guy that fucked internet chastity legend Thumper, I have collected a group of kinky men which now includes a locked boy who I collared (Bolt); the sub, chastised ex-boyfriend bunny whose ass I still own in many ways, and plan to claim officially with a fist soon (aforementioned Thumper); a best friend who designs and crafts the most amazing chastity devices in the world (Chris); another accidental best friend in the Southern Hemisphere who I deeply treasured and adore for many reasons including his kinky complex career driven mind that runs akin to mine in the fact that it won’t stop running 200 possible scenarios – for anything (Mack) (read that last part fast 20 times and you will get a clue as to what my brain is like); another amazing man in the same hemisphere as Mack that I now call Sir (oh yeah, spoiler alert) (Jeep); and a therapist husband who is rapidly accepting his dominance over our relationship despite the fact that I have the dominant career that colors every single aspect of our lives (Axel).

I write about this stuff to show those generations that, despite being kink inclined and despite having weird thoughts about what you want to put where and how great the pain will be when you do so, you can build an amazing life that includes a complex career – if you so desire, a marriage that accepts and incorporates your fetishes long term – if you want that, and a group of people who surround you who bring out the best of you, kinks and all, at almost all times of the day. This is a learning game for all of us and if by me writing the personal side every now and then helps someone see that, then I feel like my mission is accomplished.

That got long, but, but the gist of this story is that over the last few weeks I have been in one of the most reflective places I can remember being. I should say this reflective place is not a bad place at all and I think we all need these times, but this particular one is a combination of outside forces that are all independent in many ways yet so dependent on key little aspects within them that it’s almost impossible to solve one without the other being a factor. As some background, in my real life I have some significant, very good, career opportunities looming that could change a lot about the future for both Axel and myself. While the timing sucks, this is something I have worked my ass off for since university but there is a huge guilt about possibly taking it, because of factors outside of my control. One of these is a parent, who at 73 and though stable for a long time after an early onset, is now rapidly feeling the effects of Alzheimer’s and there is a feeling of abandonment being away. Another is the same dominant spouse who once was a semi-magnificent athlete who is now in pain 24/7 due to the semi factor of magnificent causing a wicked accident and multiple surgeries that changed him which sparked his own reflective period. Neither these, or any of the 117 other things that are on my mind, will actually make or break anything, but they are factors. On the kink side of things, this is one of those times that I wish we had figured it all out years ago so we/I could dive into the realm of service and submission to use that as an escape from the real world for a bit – not unlike how some people use golf, travel, art – but we regrettably did not get to that place where it was just easy in time, though I promise you we continue to try and will continue to thrive. We are just a bit later than some.

The larger issue, for me, that looms over everything in my personal life is a loss of tradition that come with family and family protocols as my blood family, which was never really large, moves on and/or out of reality. I have no idea why this one part has troubled me so, but it’s been something that I know I am not the only one to struggle with. This led me to look of some of the kink community and realize that many have formed their own families – even some with fancy crests and pecking orders – and I found that to be fascinating and satisfying at the same time. However, it was in a conversation with Jeep that I realized that, that family unit, though not by blood, is exactly what I have been looking at, for, and possibly even have the start of, though nothing formal, and this fact is something that brings a smile to my face every single time I think that way. When I look at the above listed players, the dysfunction in each relationship alone screams family and that is a wicked cool way to begin looking at those in the “inner realm”. There is nothing unhappy about these thoughts at all and there is certainly something to be said for that.

The next few weeks will be interesting, to say the least, but they do not scare me and, through the power of this “family” and the secure connections within it, it’s actually a refreshing feeling to know that these people are there no matter what. Also, this is not meant to be a down, poor me, everyone wish me better post, because none of that applies. I truly share this as just a glimpse of what a real kinky person in the real professional world looks like as he semi-gracefully ages out. Nothing bad at all.

Okay, that’s it for personal. Hopefully Thump will write a post right after this talking about his ass and what’s in it, you know, to lighten the mood or something.


Hello from Eastern Canada. I can’t really fathom the fact that I am now here versus where I was last week, but such is my job. It’s 3:30 in the morning and I am wide awake. I have had an Ambien and half another pill and even with those, here I am. Tomorrow will be hell because it’s me and a bunch of one to one meetings in a warm, windowless room with people I can’t really even pretend to love. Argh.

Anyway, last week on my last night in Australia I wrote a post that, I think, may be one of my favorites I have written. I say that because of the content, my feelings, and the place where it came from because I felt, and still feel, changed for the good because of my Aussie friends. Returning to the US was tough, though. This trip it was awful because, for whatever reason, the jet lag hit me about fourteen hours after I arrived and it felt like I had been hit my a big truck -twice. For me, jet lag is unpredictable as there are times I travel and have none or only have varying degrees of it. Also unpredictable is the format for me as it can range from just being mild physical tiredness to a wild swing of exhaustion wrapped in emotion. Unfortunately, the last few days have been like that for me and I have been a weird mix of horny, menopausal, mean, sad, angry, and sentimental all wrapped into a package that just did not want to leave the house for two solid days.

The funny thing about this is that, even though I expected that this weird swing could still be a possibility, Axel and I had set the stage for some BDSM evolution in our home upon my return and I was damn well going to come through with that challenge/promise, despite the jet lag. In a rarity for me, I didn’t want the props and sweet leathery smelling gear, I just wanted him. And, him I got. Literally. It was satisfying in a primal way and sweet in others, but it didn’t fix my mood – though it did temporarily help.

This is not anything bad, it’s just a side effect of life in the air.

On a plus note, I have enjoyed the comments on the post above immensely as Mack has become quite the playboy of the commenters here and through direct chat with me. I am encouraging him to change all of his online profile titles to Mack and reference back to these posts cause, if some of these men find him in RL, he will be bound, gagged, and locked wicked fast and, since I know he’d like that, I certainly want to help, right? I mean, what kind of BFF would I be otherwise if I didn’t help facilitate this match?**

** Certain restriction apply. Applicant must meet minimum match standards in height, looks, personality, and kink and be subject to Drew’s approval. Age limits do apply on a state my state basis. Chastity is not optional and applicant must provide intent to lock. Certain restrictions apply to types of wine, music, and travel preferences allowed. See dealer for warranty information. Offer is not valid with multiple boys, unless they are hot, but slightly less so than Mack. Applicant will not be allowed to share status match credits as there are limits to any relationship. For more information, please leave a comment and Mack or Drew will return your query within 5-7 business days.

Hello from Sydney on what is my last night in Oz. I cannot wait to get home but also somewhat hate to leave. From a professional point of view, these weeks were huge and I am setting the stage for the next phase of my career. But, from a personal point of view, it’s been absolutely amazing as I think I have reset my point of view on so many things.

As I think most of you had figured out, I was burning out fast personally and professionally and made myself slow down enough to breathe and take stock of life, my loves, my future, and, most importantly, my kinks. For as much as I talk about them on here or other places, I willingly admit that I am far from being self accepting in what I want, need, or fantasize about. However, we all know how this has evolved since blog day one and will hopefully keep going.

But, this trip I spent time with Mack multiple times, to the point that I stayed in his house and felt more welcome there than I have at friend’s houses who I have known for my whole life. I had three meals in a row with Jeep and his husband, who I will call Huey, and, with work behind me, I just relaxed and breathed even more than I did the week before. We texted with Axel during these moments and shared pictures and places and it, in some weird little ways, it felt like he was with us. That made me happy. And, I think it did the other three too.

However, today was the clincher for me because the three of us shared a breakfast and Mack and I went on an adventure to see the city on foot after riding the train for a bit. We walked and took some pictures and, as the day was winding down and my flight was near, we went to a tiny outside bar on a concrete island in the middle of a river and had a beer where we each faced the water and we talked. We talked about what we each need in life. We talked about things about his divorce we had not gone into the details of before. We talked about Jeep and Huey and the dynamics of his submissive relationship with them and how this might play a role in how he moves forward in the dating pool and whether a locked dick would be a help or a hindrance (which, FYI, begs the question to you single guys, what would you think if you hooked up and found someone had a locked dick?). On my end, I talked about Axel and the, now more apparent than ever, rapid decline of my mother’s mental state and what that is going to mean for all these good things that have been happening as well as an addiction crisis with my best vanilla non cuddly friend that has literally shaken me to my core because I didn’t see it and even Axel, the trained one in these things, didn’t see it either.

It was during this moment, or conversation, where the wind blew just right and the air was just the right temperature and I had one of those outside myself moments where I just wanted to just fucking breathe and smile because, this moment, in this one moment, the conversations, the meals, the work events, the naked cuddles, and the sexy as fuck texts with Axel all lined in that warm breezy place and I felt happier and more loved than I can remember feeling in such a long time. It was happiness with a beer and a bestie. And it was one of those times I will remember forever and, luckily, I asked Mack to take a picture of me right there. That said, it’s not a great picture at all, BUT, it’s what it is and I will never forget this trip, despite the fact I had to work and I actually worked damn hard.

Contrary to my typical self as far as when I meet new people, this is not new relationship energy or a kink drop, this is genuine friendship and, though I am quite sad to not see these guys for awhile, I have zero doubt that this group will remain in my life forever, especially Mack who is an avid a texter as me. You know, when you think about it, this is a real bonus when you make friends after 40. And, as for distance, fuck it. I will continue to work here off and on, Mack is an American and has to come home occasionally, and we all have credit cards that buy plane tickets if and when the need occurs.

I will stop with these “nice” posts after this and will get back to my regularly scheduled posts about angst, things in Thumper’s ass (fyi, I see him in 2 weeks), and shiny metal peni, but, it occurred to me this week with my friend’s crisis that I am the guy who used to wince if someone said they loved me or if I had to say it to someone else, but, as the evolution of these life events is occurring, I decided I won’t be that guy anymore and proudly told Mack that I loved him when I left, cause I do and have no shame in saying it because I have such a respect for him and the friendship he has provided me. I think everyone needs to hear that sometimes without going into any spasms about their masculinity and I will make it a vow to say it when I feel it from now forward.


To Axel in absentia, Mack, Jeep, and Huey – thank you for being a part of the evolution of Drew. The time, texts, and diet coke purchases will always be a bit of my soul.

I do love you all in various ways we all may never know. 

With much love, 



Hey, it’s Thumper again. [waves]

As I’m writing this, I have the XXXL Mr. S World’s Most Comfortable Butt Plug inside me. That’s almost two pounds and 8″ in circumference and it’s been there for seven hours and will remain there for at least three more today. And, since I’m writing about it here and not on my blog, you may have guessed it’s inside there at Drew’s direction. Not that I wouldn’t want to carry it around anyway, but we’ve settled into an understanding where Drew tells me what do to with my ass (what’s in it, how long, etc.) and, as sub, being in that kind of situation is so much much more rewarding than doing something only for myself.

For example, a little while back, Drew and I spent part of a morning on FaceTime where I was naked and he wasn’t and he told me what he wanted to see put up my ass and I did it. I, of course, enjoy putting things in my ass, but I had never done it so explicitly at the direction of another. And that totally changed the texture of the experience. It was another expression of submission. Being pushed to used certain toys for lengths of time not of my choosing. To fuck myself with it for more strokes than I would had it been up to me. To sit as far down on the largest toys, trying to get them a centimeter further in, and then leaving them there until he was satisfied I was as full and open as possible. Feeling discomfort and a need to stop but fighting that because my ass’ Dom was calling the shots, not me.

I’ve written here before about the effect Drew has had on that part of my sexuality. It’s satisfying to have found a way to explore and develop in a way that wouldn’t be possible with Belle (based simply on her differing interests). Knowing that I’m not just a sub, but a sub bottom. And working with Drew to make me a better, more accomplished bottom. As I said last time, all this will eventually culminate in Drew fisting me.

Right now, today, it seems inevitable. I feel as though being a bottom and having a Dom top’s forearm inside me is what I was born to do. Well, one of the things. But totally natural. It’s what I am. Something I was made for. When I’m really buzzing with subby bottomness, I crave it like little else. I will not be happy until it happens.

Recently, I decided it was time to upgrade my selection of dildos. Most of the ones I have are years old (one at least 20 years old, if you can believe it). My favorite, the Jeff Stryker dildo, is definitely fully depreciated. In any event, as I was shopping, I found a series of toys described by Fort Troff as “monsters.” The smallest, which I ordered, is 8″ long and 8.5″ in diameter. That’s a half inch bigger around than the XXXL WMCBP, but smaller than other things I’ve been able to take. So, no problem.

It was kind of surreal looking at the next one up (10″ in circumference) and think, “Yeah, I could do that.” And then the biggest (12.5″ around) and thinking if Drew told me to…eventually. Then imagining him watching as it slid slowly into me, pushing it’s massive head deeper into my hole, forcing his will up my ass as far as it would fit. Then sitting there, waiting until he told me I could move, feeling myself stretch and open. And how he’d probably tell me to let it all out except the head, then push it all back in again. And wait. And then repeat until I was so open and loose that he could tell me to fuck myself with it as fast as possible until he told me to stop. A giant, fat pole of cock-shaped rubber pounding into me, past the point I’d want it to, just waiting for his word.

Unf. I mean, seriously. Though I’ve never had a dildo that large inside me, even that seems inevitable now.

Working and training my hole with Drew has been amazing. Seeing myself progress and overcome what I once thought were barriers and knowing that it’s just a matter of time before his big, meaty fist punches through the last one. Feeling that both ends of my sexuality are controlled. Knowing that he’s not really interested in the penis one bit. The focus of his intent is my hole. And it enjoys the attention.

Traveler’s Log: Day 17-ish.

Hello from Northern Australia today. I am heading to Tasmania in a bit, but wanted to check in and talk more about the events of what is feeling like the longest trip ever, but one that, now that I can see the end of, makes me a bit sad it’s ending because of the good things that have happened.

As I have written about before vaguely, one of my goals of this trip was to re-evaluate myself in ways that only being away from home for three plus weeks allows. I didn’t really know what it was I was seeking, but I just knew it was a time that I needed to come to peace with a few of my own demons at home such as not relaxing, not allowing Axel to even try to exert the control he was finding, and dealing with the fact that I was not ever allowing myself to be present in a moment. By that, I mean that I had reached a point where I could not enjoy a movie for worrying about what I was missing at work. I could not enjoy cuddle time with Axel for wondering who might be texting me. I could not enjoy being bound because my mind just plotted everything in life I was not getting done such as cleaning the house, doing some work report, or worrying about my friendships and/or worrying about some work email that could ruin my whole day, as those happen frequently since I work for someone who doesn’t know how to work unless it’s by being on fire. I knew and know that it is not healthy at all, but didn’t know how to deal with it and just chalked it up to having a job that has amazing pressure at times that pays me to undergo it.

Then came Australia.

My first two nights I hardly slept because of the above and, knowing that work and life is happening while you sleep, will drive someone like me mad. I woke up every hour and checked email, etc. Then, as you also know, it was the weekend and Mack and I went away to the middle of nowhere and I did better about worrying because I had amazing company and there was scant cell reception. But, the funny thing about sharing a bed with a stranger, in some ways, is you want to be on your best behavior even if not worried about sexual performance, so even when I woke up, I refused to look at the phone to even see what time it was. This was so unlike me that I would bet I surprised Axel who pretty much as the “go back to bed, Drew” ready to cut and paste into any text after ten, but, it surprised me too because I woke up happy. And, aside from one crisis with a friend that was crisis enough to warrant being awoken (story soon), every single night since I have followed that rule and I feel great.

Aside from sleep, Mack, who deep down is as wired as me in many many ways, had a bit of a talk with me about finding good music, good wine, and just being able to chill as it’s something he has learned to do more since his breakup. Now, I know this is not his every day action as he’s wound too, but he practices it enough that I could just tell he was in a happy place and I wanted to join him. So, music and wine have been part of my life since and I love both and plan to take this new addiction on the road with me as well because there is a calmness in there I was missing.

The other beauty of Mack, is that he’s not ashamed of his kinks and, though you’d never know it from the surface, that boy is a pervert and as I watched him insert a big plug in his ass at his Sir’s instruction, I was amazed. This Sir I mentioned, is a friend who is partially a Sir to him, partially a best friend, and partially an ex and they love each other dearly in the kinkiest of naked platonic ways. This Sir, who I will call Jeep for the time being, is married to a man who is a friend to Mack and who is just as understanding as Axel is of my dalliances. Like us, they have things that constantly need talking through and, from all indications, are doing quite well at it.

Now, I “met” Jeep through Mack 18 months ago as well and, while we have not had constant communication, we also hit it off to the point that when I meet him in person later this week, I have zero worries about whether we will get along in person or not. The best part about this is that Jeep and I have had some detailed talks over the last week or two about what I want to see in my submission to Axel and how I can lead a switch life where the sub side of me can be as fulfilled as my Dom side has become (a side I will not let go of and am now finding it easy to just drop in place with Thumper, Bolt, and others). It’s been incredible to have this sounding board and, what’s even more incredible, is that we have now introduced Axel into the mix and Jeep has agreed to mentor him as he and I revise our kinky relationship agreement that will likely go into place when I get home next week. Also, as an amazing perk, I will be spending two days at the end of the week as personal days and will be staying with Mack (though he will only be there one night) but Jeep is going to pick me up at the airport and hopefully spend some time with me the next day as we build our friendship in person. Jeep’s husband will also be brought into this mix too, but I don’t know him well enough to give him a name yet, but will do so expeditiously when prompted.

Bottom line, as I sit here on a Monday morning about to go to work, is that while the time away from home has SUCKED, it’s also been amazing and I will be leaving Australia with a filled level of contentment in myself, my kinks, and my two amazing friends and this feeling is something money cannot buy though it makes me as happy as an Amex gift card would at Apple when I think deeply on it.

Finally, speaking of content, I SAW FERNS AGAIN YESTERDAY! She’s as beautiful as ever and will be receiving her own post on here too soon!!