“Gay Boyfriend Beware” – the bisexual boyfriend’s warning label

I have a bisexual boyfriend. He came with a warning label of sorts issued by his wife, his blog, and him.

In short, it said:

“Bisexual boyfriends may often occasionally require special handling due to wiring issues that can sometimes cause them to think about lady sex organs at times when you require their full attention. They can’t help it, they say. They were born that way, they say. They like snatch, they say. They are worth it, we all say.

When wiring issues occur, bisexual boyfriends can be reset with time, patience, ice cream, or by firmly pressing their reset button located between their thighs. For severe bisexual attention disorders lasting over 12 hours, seek immediate assistance from Tumblr and repeatedly press the button mentioned above more firmly.”

“Gay Boyfriend Beware”, was printed right there, so none of these things I can complain about and, for the record, nor would I.

Thumper beat me to the punch by writing about our time together this week in THIS blog post yesterday on Denying Thumper. It’s funny because we did not talk about a potential post before he wrote that, but I had already planned something very similar to what he wrote, but from the other point of view. I have to admit, when I first saw Thumper had posted that, I was running through O’Hare airport and I only was able to glance down and catch a few words here and there, but, unfortunately the words I caught were not the ones I should have read. This led to a series of long, in depth text exchanges with the rabbit that resulted in me having a bigger smile on my face than I did when I had left him the day before. He’s going to write about that conversation so I will table that for now (and if he doesn’t I will) but I want to talk about my view of this week and why, even prior to his writing, I was actually thinking it was one of our best visits to date.

To start off, Thumper was not horny for what I had to offer this time. He wrote about his bisexual mood blocking wall erecting itself a few days prior to my visit and that he had vaguely hinted to me about that happening. Funny, this erection is something I recognize now, maybe even as soon as he does, so I knew I would be needing to scale or surrender to it when I arrived in his city. Perhaps it’s because it’s the only erection I see him with or just time, but this was one was different in a very good way. See, for the first time in our relationship, this bi-blockade was not something that worried me, evening the slightest, because I knew that we would figure it out as we went along. In fact, in a surprise move, Thumper got some Belle action 12 hours before my arrival which, I assumed, would be like fresh concrete grout into the wall, but even that didn’t worry me because I think he and I have finally reached that place where “we are” and, by that, I mean “we are what we are” and it’s a fascinating combination of affection and attraction tightly wrapped in what is becoming a deep friendship that does not have any romantic intentions whatsoever. I think I speak for him when I say that we each take great pride in this fact and weeks like we just closed only serve to enhance that.

What my original post was going to be about was the friendship angle because, as much as I like, well, fucking love the fucking with him, I have found someone that, when he sees me naked, literally and figuratively sees me naked because he knows all the hiding places I have for my kinks in addition to my professional and personal lives too. This visit sex was not the focus, however, truth be told, Thumper being Thumper and me being me, all it took was a wink, a nudge and a tickle and he was naked and the bisexual bunny tongue was activated, but that’s another story for another time. This time we just enjoyed the evolution of our friendship and went running (twice – I still hurt, I hate to run but really really have to body wise) (and, random fact, Thumper does not smell when he sweats – that’s just freaky), watched a ballgame and ate some really good food, although I displeased him by my dinner order because he had significantly changed how I viewed one of my favorite words at that point.

Finally, as long as we are on the friendship angle, I want to give a direct shout out to my twitter crew which consists of about 6-8 people or couples that I interact with most there. I have met two of the group and hope to meet more in real life as I work around the world, but you guys really rock and, although it’s virtual in most ways, I just want to tell you I appreciate the friendship, encouragement, and just the ability to step away from whatever in life is happening at that moment and laugh, tease, and share our mutual kinks, likes, and dislikes. With a few of you, Thumper, Tom, Ferns, etc, I still feel like the odd kid who has gotten to sit at the cool kid’s lunch table because I have read you for so long or invested time with you in other ways, and it’s just fun and nice to know that you are out there, wherever you are, pulling for me.

So, I am home now and it’s a rainy Saturday but my list is long, so, as Thumper would say, I am 900+ words in and have no way to end this, so, happy Saturday, kinky kids.

Inside the Bunny (and outside Axel)

So, it’s been a funny, yet, fun week.

To quickly sum it up I had a really slow work week; had my mother ask me if I had recently had an orgasm; had an orgasm; upsized my Prince Albert to a 4 gauge; finalized, paid, and submitted my Steelheart order; reached new, deeper levels of emotional and physical submission with Axel; got to spend naked, friend, and friendly-naked time with Thumper; bought a new travel bag that rocks beyond belief and potentially will not make my arm continue to go numb due to its design; bought myself a new Njoy 2.0 which is just like art designed to go up one’s rectum; and had great BBQ nachos – twice.

Oh yeah, and, I forgot to mention, I went vibrator shopping with my boyfriend for a new toy for his wife.

It was fascinating.

All sizes and textures. All those speeds. All those pastel colors. Ones with floppy little things on the top. Ones without. Ones that vibrate lightly. Ones that seem to simulate a donkey punch to one’s vagina. Oh, the questions and the enlightenment all wrapped into one pastel colored flowery box. It was delightfully fun.

To go back to the day with Thumper. It was great. I’m not going into any of the sexual details because it’s really not something that needs to be discussed, but this time, if there was any issue it was mine because the new ring caused some pain and the condom I chose was too small causing some edema, so, let’s just say I was not at my best and felt really awful about that. On the flip side, the bisexual bunny tongue is still one of the best tongues out there. Unfortunately for the world it is able to be marketed to a very limited audience, but, let’s just say, that if it were on the market, it would not come in a pastel box. I think that box would be a unibody stainless steel product with a nice black leather clasp with some sort of delicate jewel, you know, for the ladies, as the attachment point.

The other thing about these visits are they really are just fun and allow me to just be me for one whole afternoon or day because being around someone who knows your nastiest kinks and still thinks you are swell enough to lick, is just a great, open feeling. I think most of you can sense this through his writing, but something he can’t particularly address in the first person, nor can you really know yourself, is Thumper is just a fucking good man all the way around. His style, looks, deep intelligence, dark humor, and his love for Belle and his offspring just show in his eyes when he talks about his life and people just feel better when he is in the room. I certainly do, even when he’s not naked. He never fails to teach me something about politics, baseball, clitoral regions, and how to better access porn each and every time I am around him. Oddly, however, somehow these talks usually cause me to spend money.

Anyway, I think I can tell you that now without it worrying that it sounds romantic or too clingy or any of that shit we all worried about when we met because I think I realized that, whether or not it has actually been acknowledged formally, I think we finally have a settled definition of those attached elastic strings we wanted when we started versus the usually bolded NO STRINGS ATTACHED most men in our positions typically seek. It’s definition is fluid and has no actual words, but it’s one we just “know” and don’t really have to ever discuss again.

Oh, and by the way, I teach him things too. At the present I am not sure what they are, but, I know I have. Hmmmm.

On the Axel front, I think we are better than we have been in 17 years and I mean that with 112% accuracy. As great of a day as I had yesterday, I was just ready to come out of my skin during the last 30 minutes of my flight home because I was going to get to see him and take him to dinner – which he paid for thanks for a very clever Facebook post on my part. One of the best parts was at dinner when we were waiting on the aforementioned BBQ nachos (I mean, I do live in the BBQ capital of the WORLD) and he said, “So tell me about your day”. Having had the doors fly open on what Thumper and I do during our leather weekend a few weeks back, I soon found myself talking about the tight condom, the pinching ring, and the fact that Thumper thought it got in the way of his teeth. Then,THEN, I realized what I was doing and just stopped cold. COLD.

It was almost as awkward when, yesterday, I was waiting in the security line watching a really cute business man walk toward me and realized he was very handicapped in his gait when, at that point, I had the “don’t stare, stop looking at this cute man because he’s going to think it’s because of that and not how cute he is” voice in my head screaming at me (don’t judge, you have all done it) and, when, at that point he got his bad leg caught on something and fell flat on the floor. Hard. It was awkward because, he saw me, but laying there like that, he was no longer cute and I just had to walk away. FAST.

(I am so kidding, I helped him up, he made a joke, I wrestled with the voice in my head about whether I should laugh at it with him, and then I went to a separate entrance which Thumper teases me about).

Now, back to Axel, at that awkward moment I looked up and he was just beaming. Ear to ear smiling because he said, “You know, I really just meant to ask if you had gotten upgraded on the flight, BUT, I am very glad to hear that and would you even have ever believed we could be so “this” about this conversation, in public even. This new relationship has been so good for you, Drew, and I am very proud of all four of us”. It made me really, really warm inside before the next line was “So don’t fuck it up” (which he was smiling as he said it).

I also talked to him about me being more open on this blog about our “new” dynamic and he was okay with that, so some of this you will see moving forward. I had been careful with that because of Axel and also because of Thumper as I think it may be hard for him to think of submitting to a sub at times, although just those times, but, I think his really really slutty “I want to be used” part of his brain will hopefully one day find that a turn on in itself. He and I discussed it too, so good to go when I decide to actually do go there.

Finally, in summary,  I think I was just writing this post to tell you it was a good day and I am so happy these days. Many of you have played a role in that too by helping me be honest with myself and those around me, so thank you as well.

Tonight we have reservations at a great spot in town, so that will be fun too.

Now, be warned, this is likely the last of these happy posts because in the next 48 hours I will start a diet, bind myself to my gym plan, try to start running again (that will be Wed), and will be flying a combined 37 hours to my 10 day assignment which I have gotten out of the practice of doing. The worst part, though, is I have been home just long enough to have forgotten just what it’s really, really like to miss Axel and Stella (so have they) so that alone just makes it a tough ride without even counting the fucking rocket salads I am going to have to eat (ask Ferns, it’s “their” word for fancy lettuce).

Happy last day of January to you.