Comfort

I have learned that comfort is my new key word.

I am rather shocked by this fact; however, I am very happy with it.

First, comfort with Axel.

One thing I have not mentioned here is our mutual friend, Griffin, who I introduced back in January, and Axel have become close and have started down a path of friendship that I suspect is one that is paved with nothing but smooth asphalt. Axel admires him greatly, as do I, and I know that they have talked about him mentoring Axel as a Dom. This, of course, will also involve him helping Axel learn more about me, about how, when, and why I might need control and, most importantly, what to do about it.

Last Friday night when I got home from a trip, we were laying in bed talking and he started talking about Griffin, some of their conversations and how he was really very excited about the possibilities that could lead for him, and for me, as one component of this would surely be me having a session or two with Griffin and then likely being cuckolded in a situation between them. This scenario is a long way out and maybe just a fantasy thought in my/our head at the moment, but, what struck me in that moment was the fact that were were just laying there having that discussion like we were talking about how his car needs to be detailed. In fact, I was very turned on by this fact, even more so than with the conversation topic, thought that did spark some action in my metal spiked region.

He went to sleep and I laid there just basking in the comfort of this conversation, of how he is with Thumper and how the bunny is now almost a daily conversation in our relationship, and with just life. That basking just led to more arousal, and I just had to wake Axel up to show him. It was the right thing to do and I didn’t care if he had a sleep Saturday or not.

Second, comfort with Thumper.

As I write this, I am sitting in just a jockstrap and a T-shirt waiting on Thumper to use his key and walk into my hotel room. We tend to have two one half day visits and this will be the morning that follows the afternoon we had yesterday. If you follow us on Twitter, you will know that yesterday we had some delicious fun that I am quite hoping repeats itself this morning,  although since he greeted me this morning with a text that so eloquently said “You made my butt hole sore” (he’s poetic, that Rabbit) I may have to aim my fire elsewhere. The sex was good. Frankly, the best we have had together. He may or may not write about it, but the sheer greatness to me (well, one of the greatnesses as he does have an ass that doesn’t, well, never mind) was the comfort involved.

By that, I mean that he and I have settled into a pattern now where we have solved all of those teenage angst issues like whether or not our spouses approved, which hotel in town has the sexiest carpet to be fucked on, or who was going to bring which plug to the party, you know, the usual issues the newly intertwined face. Seriously, when I was flying here yesterday I realized that I didn’t have the pre-visit butterflies anymore, that it didn’t matter when he got to me, or the worry that we would not have anything to talk about. It just works now, for what it is, and for that, I am very thankful for the comfort.

It was funny too because last night we went to dinner, an act that Belle insisted he make as to be the perfect host, and were talking about that fact and the fact that Axel had actually texted me a “have fun today” message shortly after I arrived. It made me just say out loud to him that “we just are married to the absolute best people in the world, aren’t we?”, to which he raised his glass and we had a small toast in their honor. That is comfort, my friends.

Third, comfort with me.

Over the last few months you have all watched me evolve a bit and I am very proud of myself for how I have. I have found comfort in being monoga-mish and very much look forward to Axel developing something on the side with the right person himself so he can see the freedom and energy it allows. I am way better to him because of my time, and friendship, with Thumper so maybe I am just selfish and look forward to that for me too.

I am very comfortable with the fact that he now officially controls my penis and that soon it will be locked in steel for him every day of the year I am not with Thumper. I love this fact, actually, and now that I am wearing his cock ring 24/7, I am finding more and more peace with that every time I see it, feel it, or pull his pierced cock out of my pants.

Also, I am finding comfort in having further embraced my kinky self and in starting to mix my muggle and blogging selves into one at a few, specialized, occasions in life. Last week I met a Twitter follower and loved that. In a few weeks I am meeting my Domme idol Ferns, on the other side of the world, and cannot wait for that because I look forward to sharing real names, whole pictures, and actual facts because it is what I have realized all makes me who I am – the complete mix of husband, professional, son, brother, and kinkster all in one.

In addition to the two above, Axel and I have also developed a real friendship with another couple who are, get this, straight-ish, and have enjoyed getting to know the real them in addition to the fact that are very similar in progress and desires to us in a D/s relationship. We have enjoyed long chats on, another get this, Facebook, real Facebook, that have mixed in discussions of what should go up the husband’s ass and when while also talking about how one of their children did at the swim meet or how my mother’s dementia was doing this week. And, by the way, I will meet at least half of this couple tomorrow and cannot wait as it’s just more of my “coming out all over again” tour. There is only good that can come out of this and I am very excited about the possibilities of friendship here as the four of us are all fascinating people. (fyi, I have asked them to choose their blogger names they’d like me to use here, so I will re-introduce you soon)

More soon, but for today, comfort is the word of that day (except for, perhaps, Thumper and that butt hole issue).

The Complaint About My Words – A Synopsis of The Drew Duality

This afternoon I got my first complaint.

I have gotten rude comments, questions, and compliments over the months, but never a complaint.

You see, Joelsub32 wrote me a rather eloquent message that said,  “Dude, your blog is supposed to be about you being a slave to your husband and owning a straight guy’s ass – which is hot. I looked and it’s all words and it’s about your life -not hot. Plus, who is Axel, Thumper and Stella? Too many names – also not hot.”

Well, what can I say, Joel? Have you heard of Tumblr?

Although I doubt Joel will ever read this, I decided to write a little synopsis here for new readers who, I hope can comprehend a bit more than Joelsub32.

The CliffsNotes of The Drew Duality:

The Blog: It’s true, it was supposed to be only about my submission to my husband and my dominant relationship with a bisexual married man who is locked in chastity and longed to be fucked by a man. While I think the original intend would be that this would be about a great deal of sexual details and less about life, what this has turned into is an outlet for me to explore my kink side through words, challenge myself at times, and chronicle my day to day life with “the husband” and the bisexual man (he’s far from straight, Joel), now often referred to simply as “the boyfriend”.

The blog has taken on a life of itself and is something I very much enjoy, so it’s going to continue and will evolve as my life does, as a husband, as a boyfriend, as a professional executive trainer, as a traveler, and, most importantly, as a switch who is navigating all of these waters as they flow together.  Finally, I write this blog as the man who is made up of all of those things and as a man who has honestly never been happier in his life as he comes to find a bit more peace in his soul every single day in accepting those things that drive his mind and his penis to great pleasure and as he finds some great people along the way.

The Husband (Axel): My partner of 17 years (and my legal husband of two), known only here as Axel, a name HE chose by the way, is an amazing man who I confessed my kink side to in 2008. Since that time it has been an evolving path of discovery often taking three steps forward and 117 back before repeating the process and starting again. Eventually, we made progress and are now at a spot where he wants and is taking more and more control of my life at home, which I happily give him (although due only just to life events, right now we are in one of the reverse series – but it’s all okay).

Our path took a great leap when we decided to open our relationship so that we could each explore things we wanted but were not getting at home. For Axel, he had a few dalliances that were only that and never amounted to anything more (but he is determined to find his own boyfriend soon). For me, this openness was really only symbolic until I met “the boyfriend” in October. At that time everything really exploded on both sides, with Axel deciding he wanted me to have a prince albert followed by chastity control and some structure at home, while also allowing me every freedom in the world I want or need with the boyfriend.  He is an amazing man and I am proud to share my life and my last name with him.

The Boyfriend (Thumper): Thumper really needs no introduction because of his incredible blog I was a huge fan of before we met (although I still am a huge fan too). He is a married, bisexual father whose wife keeps him locked in chastity 24/7 and has for over six years.  His full story and amazing blog can be found here, but we found each other after he wrote a post about wanting to be fucked by a man and I simply volunteered which was step one.  Step two was us clicking like long lost friends and realizing that we shared many unique things (and we continue to do so such as PA dates and times and, this week, I realized my ATM code is one he uses for something else – really, of all the numbers and codes in the world we use the same ones??) and that our kinks not only clicked, but they aligned almost perfectly like a delicately shaped plug designed for a gaping hole.

We started out as Dom/sub, Sir/boy, and I used many names for him publicly that I now use in private at the right times (except DILF -it’s just so fucking true to not be public) and had rules, challenges, and tasks which were followed by amazing sex, but after that we realized that our real lives were suffering at the expense of these activities and that the possibility of really being friends and knowing each other for the men we are would not be possible under the mask of me as always a Dom and him as always a sub. This new “freedom” has allowed him to serve as my kink mentor, female anatomy advisor, baseball coach, tech support hotline, my hole at a few specific times (see these posts), and, most importantly, my friend which is something I have grown to value tremendously.

All that said, we still fuck like bunnies and I still own his ass in private when we can (at least every month) and will continue to do so too!  Lucky for all of us is that he recaps those episodes as well!

The Dog (Stella): Stella is my girl and probably my favorite. She’s a spoiled terrier who has multiple beds (two heated and one cooled) and has a busier schedule than me and Axel combined. That said, she’s often referred to in the posts as an annoyance, but I love her dearly.

The Penis (Mr. Winky): RIP Mr. Winky, we now call you Cock.

So, that is where we stand, Joelsub32.  Care to send me another email complaining about words?

Did I buy a Saturn?

I just had a weird experience at the urinal in the airport. Well, to qualify that, since I got the pa every experience at the urinal is odd as I’ve not quite mastered the direction thing yet, but, in this case my aim was perfect.

Anyway, I noticed the man next to me “glancing” to which he then said “nice size gauge, man. How long have you had it?” Which was followed by him swinging around and showing me his two gauge that’s he’s very proud of. I froze. I mean it’s not like he had lady parts or anything and it and he were rather attractive, but, this cannot be normal can it?

I thanked him, of course, before bidding him adieu and am now really hoping he’s not about to file past me on my flight.

It just reminded me of when I was in high school and my parents bought me a Saturn. I had to trade it because every other Saturn driver waved.

I know I’m now in a club of sorts, but, surely no, just no.

The Death of Mr. Winkie

“Mr. Winkie must die”. The sorta-phrase heard all day yesterday in various forms from Axel and Thumper.

Evidently, neither liked the fact that in the previous post about my one week of healing that I referred to my penis as “Mr. Winkie”.

It’s “not sexy”, they say. “You’re a grown man”, they say. Yadda. Yadda. Yadda, they say.

Actually, the bigger thought was that such items should not have names. I find that sad, but also see a point, so in an effort to be a better husband and boyfriend to the boyfriend and husband, I have vowed that my penis will no longer be referred to by any name other than cock, penis, dick, or monster, you know, all the technical terms. In my defense, it’s not like I would saddle up behind either and say something like “get ready for Mr. Winkie”, but, I do see their point and I will do my best to make sure that it shall no longer be named.

While this post has absolutely nothing to do with chastity, sex, or anything kinky (damn me and my vow as I have now I missed my chance since that rhymes so well with Winkie), I laughed all day about how these two men who have not (yet) met both picked up on the same thing and both gave me hell about it in the same snippy, yet endearingly sarcastic ways. Actually, it was an unintentional threeway of sorts as they also each added in there that I tend to give inanimate objects a gender assignment and that it should stop as well. This was just once, after recently referring to my truck as a “he” and they thought that was a bit silly too. So, I will kill Winkie, but not sure my truck will understand just yet.

I kid, of course, as it was more just fun for me to see that they both freakishly united in this “request” at almost the exact time and in the almost exact way.  Just odd.  (as an FYI, Axel does not read the blog, but I have sent him the PA updates as he has a vested interest and wants to know those)

In addition, while I am writing about nothing in particular, I want to give an update on Axel as I am not sure I painted a fair picture of him last weekend when I arrived home with my freshly poked Mr., errrr, cock. A few of you have told me that you felt sorry for me over his reaction and that he could have reacted better, been more excited, and such. For those who said that, I agree 100 percent. He should have. But, there were many things about my arrival home and the weekend that I could have done better too, so in this case,  it truly is what it is or, well, was what it was. As a bit of background too, Axel’s workload almost quadruples in December and he’s working more hours than me without the benefit of the occasional first class seat and kettle one and cranberry. Stress levels are high this month and always have been, so I really should have known better than to expect much more. In fact, one of the reasons I chose to have myself modified in December was due to the fact that intimacy, kink, control, and any of the other fun words that belong in that sentence are quite improbable during these weeks, so it made for a good time to temporarily render oneself impotent so that I’d be back and roaring when Axel wakes up from his much needed nap a few days after Christmas (after we return from his family and I wake up from the self medicated induced coma I typically have to put myself in for survival too).

I am in Los Angeles tonight and will be heading home for almost three solid weeks tomorrow and have promised him he can touch the steely cock as much as he wants, now that doing so will not send me through the ceiling in pain like it would have this time last week. While I intend to stay in my half self imposed/half healing imposed state of device free chastity for at least another week for the internal healing, the touch is something I have missed dearly and am looking very forward to feeling when I get there.

As a nine day update, I am healing quite well and the burning has slowed, though it is still there at times. Mentally I no longer “think” constantly about my dick, but the new vibrations and sensations are still rather, um, thrilling.

Happy weekend.

Day 4.5 – My Penis Begins to Forgive

Just a quick note for the archives.  Today is all good. There have been a few sensitive issues such as the dog jumping in my lap or me running into things, but, all in all, I am starting to get very used to him being down there because he’s not being nearly the bother that he was over the last few days.

Also, I think my penis is starting to forgive me.  He’s done bleeding for good and during a spirited round of Tumblr looking and then twittering with the Bunny earlier this afternoon, he even peeked his head out of the dark cave he’s been living in since Wednesday and tried really hard to rise to the occasion and say hello.  This, of course, felt like I was being torn in half for a split second, but that went away quickly – as did his attention.

However, I guess baby steps apply even to very adult things.

Last trip of 2014 starts tomorrow for six days, then done.  Happy week everyone.  I’ll occasionally update this subject as needed!