All Hail to the Prince Albert

Thumper just dropped me off at the airport after two days of really good, easy, relaxed fun. On the ride, I told him that I absolutely loved my Prince Albert as it’s been almost three months since it was installed. He suggested I write a quick post about that since it seems so many guys want one, but are afraid or worried.

Frankly, before I got mine I was terrified of it. I wanted it, but didn’t move quickly toward it at all. Luckily, my husband wanted it for me more and after I met Thumper and heard the virtues of his, I gave in to Axel which, in hindsight, really marked the first step in my submission to him. The irony here is that Thumper’s PA sold me, even though I have never actually seen it for myself. I’ve been close and have even said hello though the hole of the steelheart, but, it’s not mine to play with, so I will likely never see it (btw, I find that so incredibly hot).

For mine, after three months, it’s now just a part of me. Yes, urination has changed, but it’s not bad. Right now I have a curved barbell in with a large stainless steel ball on the head and, though I love it, I kinda miss the captive ball ring too. As you may have read, Thumper and I broke in the barbell thoroughly during the last 48 hours. In fact, as odd or as wonderful as this may be to say, I let myself go to almost a primal place that I have never been with Axel, but certainly plan to as soon as I am home from the trip I am leaving on now.

I assume that it’s the additional nerve endings that have been exposed by the PA itself, or perhaps it’s the weight of the jewelry, but I have never, ever experienced sex like I have since I got mine. The sensations are amazing and, as I have said before, an orgasm feels about 200 percent better than it ever did before. I am not sure if it’s the ability for the penis to release more fluid, or that the fluid flows over and around a steel bar, but, fuck, does it feel nice and, in a way, much more complete than any orgasm I had experienced prior.

What I have not talked about, is the events that lead up to the orgasm.

Oral sex is just incredible now. Thumper’s mouth felt amazing, like a mixture of hot and cold at the same time. Feeling his tongue roll over, play with, and move the balls of the jewelry sent little mini orgasmic chills into my spine, each and every time. Plus, there’s the sound. I know that sounds strange, but with the additional fluids and the additional hole, there is a new sound that emerges that is just like a melody of squeaks or clicks or something similar. I can’t accurately describe it, but I suspect it’s what a penis would sound like if it could actually sing. Plus, when the PA occasionally would hit or brush a tooth, there is a clicking sound, like bamboo wind chimes, that would vibrate to my core. Absolutely amazing.

Anal sex, frankly, is not something I have ever enjoyed a great deal, but the PA is rapidly changing that. Today as I fucked Thumper, I could feel the jewelry move inside him, guiding the path so to speak. It was an intense pleasurable feeling as I could feel the muscles of his ass push it up, down, and back and forth within my penis. That intensity, frankly, gave me a new level of confidence in the act I have never had before and resulted in a later orgasm unlike any I have had in my life (and in a way I never have- fyi). On the flip side, Thumper told me that he could feel both steel balls on their path and that he would try to grip to them in anticipation. That, was an incredible feeling.

In masturbation, the PA has changed my grip and my pattern, but that switch has led to a new path of self pleasure I didn’t know I had. Now, I am not currently allowed to go down that path, but when I am, the tender area between the hole is an erotic zone like no other. To touch that place, while erect, is just a feeling of intensity that I can only now appreciate. I had worried this would go away with the final healing, but it has not and, honestly, has only gotten better making me very happy about the road ahead (even though it will be steel encased).

In day to day life, as I have said, I love the fact that it’s in my pants and that it represents Axel. The weight is great and gives me a bit of added length I didn’t realize I really needed.

Also, I just love the way it looks.

So, in summary, for anyone who is on the fence with this, feel free to reach out and ask. As I have said, I have zero regrets now and look forward to this just being more and more a part of me as I go down the path.

Thumper, care to elaborate now on the other side of it since you have experienced the giving and receiving with one?

Inside the Bunny (and outside Axel)

So, it’s been a funny, yet, fun week.

To quickly sum it up I had a really slow work week; had my mother ask me if I had recently had an orgasm; had an orgasm; upsized my Prince Albert to a 4 gauge; finalized, paid, and submitted my Steelheart order; reached new, deeper levels of emotional and physical submission with Axel; got to spend naked, friend, and friendly-naked time with Thumper; bought a new travel bag that rocks beyond belief and potentially will not make my arm continue to go numb due to its design; bought myself a new Njoy 2.0 which is just like art designed to go up one’s rectum; and had great BBQ nachos – twice.

Oh yeah, and, I forgot to mention, I went vibrator shopping with my boyfriend for a new toy for his wife.

It was fascinating.

All sizes and textures. All those speeds. All those pastel colors. Ones with floppy little things on the top. Ones without. Ones that vibrate lightly. Ones that seem to simulate a donkey punch to one’s vagina. Oh, the questions and the enlightenment all wrapped into one pastel colored flowery box. It was delightfully fun.

To go back to the day with Thumper. It was great. I’m not going into any of the sexual details because it’s really not something that needs to be discussed, but this time, if there was any issue it was mine because the new ring caused some pain and the condom I chose was too small causing some edema, so, let’s just say I was not at my best and felt really awful about that. On the flip side, the bisexual bunny tongue is still one of the best tongues out there. Unfortunately for the world it is able to be marketed to a very limited audience, but, let’s just say, that if it were on the market, it would not come in a pastel box. I think that box would be a unibody stainless steel product with a nice black leather clasp with some sort of delicate jewel, you know, for the ladies, as the attachment point.

The other thing about these visits are they really are just fun and allow me to just be me for one whole afternoon or day because being around someone who knows your nastiest kinks and still thinks you are swell enough to lick, is just a great, open feeling. I think most of you can sense this through his writing, but something he can’t particularly address in the first person, nor can you really know yourself, is Thumper is just a fucking good man all the way around. His style, looks, deep intelligence, dark humor, and his love for Belle and his offspring just show in his eyes when he talks about his life and people just feel better when he is in the room. I certainly do, even when he’s not naked. He never fails to teach me something about politics, baseball, clitoral regions, and how to better access porn each and every time I am around him. Oddly, however, somehow these talks usually cause me to spend money.

Anyway, I think I can tell you that now without it worrying that it sounds romantic or too clingy or any of that shit we all worried about when we met because I think I realized that, whether or not it has actually been acknowledged formally, I think we finally have a settled definition of those attached elastic strings we wanted when we started versus the usually bolded NO STRINGS ATTACHED most men in our positions typically seek. It’s definition is fluid and has no actual words, but it’s one we just “know” and don’t really have to ever discuss again.

Oh, and by the way, I teach him things too. At the present I am not sure what they are, but, I know I have. Hmmmm.

On the Axel front, I think we are better than we have been in 17 years and I mean that with 112% accuracy. As great of a day as I had yesterday, I was just ready to come out of my skin during the last 30 minutes of my flight home because I was going to get to see him and take him to dinner – which he paid for thanks for a very clever Facebook post on my part. One of the best parts was at dinner when we were waiting on the aforementioned BBQ nachos (I mean, I do live in the BBQ capital of the WORLD) and he said, “So tell me about your day”. Having had the doors fly open on what Thumper and I do during our leather weekend a few weeks back, I soon found myself talking about the tight condom, the pinching ring, and the fact that Thumper thought it got in the way of his teeth. Then,THEN, I realized what I was doing and just stopped cold. COLD.

It was almost as awkward when, yesterday, I was waiting in the security line watching a really cute business man walk toward me and realized he was very handicapped in his gait when, at that point, I had the “don’t stare, stop looking at this cute man because he’s going to think it’s because of that and not how cute he is” voice in my head screaming at me (don’t judge, you have all done it) and, when, at that point he got his bad leg caught on something and fell flat on the floor. Hard. It was awkward because, he saw me, but laying there like that, he was no longer cute and I just had to walk away. FAST.

(I am so kidding, I helped him up, he made a joke, I wrestled with the voice in my head about whether I should laugh at it with him, and then I went to a separate entrance which Thumper teases me about).

Now, back to Axel, at that awkward moment I looked up and he was just beaming. Ear to ear smiling because he said, “You know, I really just meant to ask if you had gotten upgraded on the flight, BUT, I am very glad to hear that and would you even have ever believed we could be so “this” about this conversation, in public even. This new relationship has been so good for you, Drew, and I am very proud of all four of us”. It made me really, really warm inside before the next line was “So don’t fuck it up” (which he was smiling as he said it).

I also talked to him about me being more open on this blog about our “new” dynamic and he was okay with that, so some of this you will see moving forward. I had been careful with that because of Axel and also because of Thumper as I think it may be hard for him to think of submitting to a sub at times, although just those times, but, I think his really really slutty “I want to be used” part of his brain will hopefully one day find that a turn on in itself. He and I discussed it too, so good to go when I decide to actually do go there.

Finally, in summary,  I think I was just writing this post to tell you it was a good day and I am so happy these days. Many of you have played a role in that too by helping me be honest with myself and those around me, so thank you as well.

Tonight we have reservations at a great spot in town, so that will be fun too.

Now, be warned, this is likely the last of these happy posts because in the next 48 hours I will start a diet, bind myself to my gym plan, try to start running again (that will be Wed), and will be flying a combined 37 hours to my 10 day assignment which I have gotten out of the practice of doing. The worst part, though, is I have been home just long enough to have forgotten just what it’s really, really like to miss Axel and Stella (so have they) so that alone just makes it a tough ride without even counting the fucking rocket salads I am going to have to eat (ask Ferns, it’s “their” word for fancy lettuce).

Happy last day of January to you.

Flipping the Switch – Borrowing Thumper’s Ass

By now, you all know that about four months ago I relinquished perceived ownership of Thumper’s ass in exchange for a friendship with him that continues to grow in different directions – all of which are educational, fun, and have truly been a gift to, I think I speak for him, both of us. What that left us with was the fact that Belle now let’s me “borrow” his ass once a month or so (and two high holidays per year and one weekend every summer). I have to promise not to break it, damage it, or leave it open each time or risk losing my security deposit and, frankly, you don’t want to know what that penalty is.

Anyway, all signs are that the end of the this week will be my next chance to use it and, due to the switch part of me and the now chronicled horniness, I plan to take full advantage of this gift I have been given and have mental plans that will take it to that place of rocket fire and, hopefully, leave it there for an extended period of time.

It’s funny, because, I have found that the more I am into all of this, I am very glad that I have a personality and a mind that let’s me compartmentalize things and act accordingly. Meaning, I have a career where I might have seven clients at once that might range from a religious institution to a gay rights group and I have had to learn to adapt my way of thinking completely within minutes of time. In this case, I have been able to use that job training to see myself as both Axel’s sub and his husband and as both Thumper’s friend and his tormentor.

In the case of Thumper, the friend part of me would not want anything to harm the man and I am looking forward to sharing a meal with him and a hot chocolate later the next day just as much as I am looking forward to using him like a cheap whore who really needs a very thorough fuck followed by a spanking in between. I am very lucky that we have learned that he can switch his thinking as well because this shift in dynamics is quite fun and, odd as it may sound, the comfort level with each other is what will allow me to treat him as nothing more than a hole I want to hurt at the right moment in time. Because, as we all know, I like the sound he makes when I hurt him and he really, badly wants to make that sound – often.

Also, Axel asked me the other day if I missed the days when Thumper had orders, plug goals, or other areas of focus and the answer was no, because, while not an everyday or even every week thing, those things still have a background for the time when I do borrow the ass and the slut part of him will make sure of it. As a for instance, he’s had one task to do for me now for the last few weeks that has not been done. I think that, deep down, he knows he will pay for that. In fact, there are two ways he’s going to pay and only one involves the new paddle, but I will wait and let that be a post from him later in the weekend.

So, if nothing else, the horniness now has only proven the switch aspect to me more and more and I am very grateful to Belle for the loan, Thumper for his “talent”, and to Axel for understanding that keeping me chaste benefits both sides of me and gives the bisexual bunny the whore time he needs as well.

Finally, as an update to this morning’s post, evidently something is planned tonight and I will be allowed to orgasm if I can do it without touching myself. It’s a lofty goal, friends, because in the 34 years my penis has been fully functioning, I can’t recall an instance where that has happened.

However, never say never.

I like the way he hurts…

I like the sounds he makes, when I hurt him.

I like the look in his eyes, when I hurt him.

I like the tension of his muscles, when I hurt him.

I like the way his ass grabs my dick like it’s never been as satisfied, when I hurt him.

I like the fact that, for a few seconds, he leaves me alone in the room when he goes wherever he goes in his mind, when I hurt him.

In fact, I am counting down the days until I can hurt him again.

Hurting him is fun. Hurting him gives me pleasure. Hurting him makes him “hard”.

This all started last week when Thumper tweeted the phrase “he likes the way I sound when he hurts me” and as mentioned, fuck, yes I do. In fact, while reading that phrase, my mind got turned on something fierce (my mind, of course, since, at that point my penis was still bleeding like a skewered goat and couldn’t react accordingly. He has since resumed his excitement over it; however).

Of course, me being me, I could not just accept the fact that his non-comfort, when naked and under me, makes me happy, so I have also been trying to figure out what it is that makes me want to hurt him and why when he begins this weird purr like guttural growl it makes me harder than I have been in years. See, he already has the sexiest voice in Minnesota, but, when it goes into that growly sound, it’s like I have just opened a Costco sized box of Cracker Jacks and the giant prize inside is just pure, dirty, sticky, wonderful sex.

Is that alone the reason? I dunno.

Today, Thumper wrote some advice back to one of his readers about how she should embrace her kinks and feelings because that is not going away and, through this post, I decided to do the same as I am now further embracing mine and have vowed not to even worry about why I feel that way, but to just let those feelings take over when that collared bunny presents me his fine tail and run with it, when possible.

In fact, let’s consider this my coming out as, at least, a part time sadist. Part time, meaning that the absolute only time I don’t want him comfortable is when we are on that path to his internal fireworks. Of course, this may not be a direct path and I have plenty of plans to make this take some time, but those will be between he and I until he shares them, (and you know he will).  I want to get him there faster next time, but in the days leading up to my next visit, we will be taking some steps to insure that as well and those may not be pleasant for him, but he will do them because he knows he has to in order to make his eyes roll back later in the week.  It’s the simple carrot and stick approach, really.

Anyway, let’s go back one week from tomorrow when he reached that place he described, shall we?

What he forgot to mention is that I had also linked the ring of his Steelheart to his locked ankles, so every time I would push him nipple wise, he’d pull himself ball wise and had linked nipple clamps through his collar so when he pulled his balls, he’d also “tug” his nipples. (I am a twisted fuck at times, btw). Actually, in hindsight, he may not have even realized that these elements were there as the scene escalated, but I did take some notes for next time and plan an updated configuration to make sure he won’t make that mistake again. In fact, next time we will get him there faster, keep him there longer, and we will spread out the pain so he may not even realize exactly where it’s coming from. I’ve been reading, my friends, and have all these notes neatly diagramed in my mind for the bunny to try to hop right off the bed, or floor, or windowsill, etc.

But he won’t.

Now, all of this is very relevant to his post last week about “That Place Where You Can Only Take Trust” because, like the twin towers he mentioned at the end, NONE of this can or will happen until I make sure we are both at the right place, the right time, and that our minds are thinking the same way.  It’s only been a few months, but I suspect that if we were at a cocktail party right now we could read each other’s expressions from across the room – his would be one of fascination because he had just seen something sparkly and mine would be some sort of intense look because I’d be pissed we were still there – but we would know, sorta, where the other stood. This party game skill transfers to sex too, because, I like nothing more than to make his downward looking submissive eyes look me in the eye while I control him and one learns a lot during those moments. Trust me.

To answer some more of those questions from earlier responses, yes, we did have a safe word, which was something so unique that I have forgotten it. However, I knew he’d never use it at that point because if I was doing my job right, deep down he’d know that I would never really hurt him and I never ever would. But, at that moment, I know that he was no longer processing such trivial things as bruises, marks, or ER trips, so I had to, and will continue to do so, because, that’s my job. During those times when he is my submissive, my masochist, my hole, and my object, he’s also my responsibility and I do not and will not ever take that lightly.

Besides, the bottom line is something my grandmother always told me as a child:

“Drew, when you grow up, make sure you never send your locked DILF boyfriend home to his wife broken or there will be trouble, young man”.

Words. To. Live. By.