This afternoon I got my first complaint.

I have gotten rude comments, questions, and compliments over the months, but never a complaint.

You see, Joelsub32 wrote me a rather eloquent message that said,  “Dude, your blog is supposed to be about you being a slave to your husband and owning a straight guy’s ass – which is hot. I looked and it’s all words and it’s about your life -not hot. Plus, who is Axel, Thumper and Stella? Too many names – also not hot.”

Well, what can I say, Joel? Have you heard of Tumblr?

Although I doubt Joel will ever read this, I decided to write a little synopsis here for new readers who, I hope can comprehend a bit more than Joelsub32.

The CliffsNotes of The Drew Duality:

The Blog: It’s true, it was supposed to be only about my submission to my husband and my dominant relationship with a bisexual married man who is locked in chastity and longed to be fucked by a man. While I think the original intend would be that this would be about a great deal of sexual details and less about life, what this has turned into is an outlet for me to explore my kink side through words, challenge myself at times, and chronicle my day to day life with “the husband” and the bisexual man (he’s far from straight, Joel), now often referred to simply as “the boyfriend”.

The blog has taken on a life of itself and is something I very much enjoy, so it’s going to continue and will evolve as my life does, as a husband, as a boyfriend, as a professional executive trainer, as a traveler, and, most importantly, as a switch who is navigating all of these waters as they flow together.  Finally, I write this blog as the man who is made up of all of those things and as a man who has honestly never been happier in his life as he comes to find a bit more peace in his soul every single day in accepting those things that drive his mind and his penis to great pleasure and as he finds some great people along the way.

The Husband (Axel): My partner of 17 years (and my legal husband of two), known only here as Axel, a name HE chose by the way, is an amazing man who I confessed my kink side to in 2008. Since that time it has been an evolving path of discovery often taking three steps forward and 117 back before repeating the process and starting again. Eventually, we made progress and are now at a spot where he wants and is taking more and more control of my life at home, which I happily give him (although due only just to life events, right now we are in one of the reverse series – but it’s all okay).

Our path took a great leap when we decided to open our relationship so that we could each explore things we wanted but were not getting at home. For Axel, he had a few dalliances that were only that and never amounted to anything more (but he is determined to find his own boyfriend soon). For me, this openness was really only symbolic until I met “the boyfriend” in October. At that time everything really exploded on both sides, with Axel deciding he wanted me to have a prince albert followed by chastity control and some structure at home, while also allowing me every freedom in the world I want or need with the boyfriend.  He is an amazing man and I am proud to share my life and my last name with him.

The Boyfriend (Thumper): Thumper really needs no introduction because of his incredible blog I was a huge fan of before we met (although I still am a huge fan too). He is a married, bisexual father whose wife keeps him locked in chastity 24/7 and has for over six years.  His full story and amazing blog can be found here, but we found each other after he wrote a post about wanting to be fucked by a man and I simply volunteered which was step one.  Step two was us clicking like long lost friends and realizing that we shared many unique things (and we continue to do so such as PA dates and times and, this week, I realized my ATM code is one he uses for something else – really, of all the numbers and codes in the world we use the same ones??) and that our kinks not only clicked, but they aligned almost perfectly like a delicately shaped plug designed for a gaping hole.

We started out as Dom/sub, Sir/boy, and I used many names for him publicly that I now use in private at the right times (except DILF -it’s just so fucking true to not be public) and had rules, challenges, and tasks which were followed by amazing sex, but after that we realized that our real lives were suffering at the expense of these activities and that the possibility of really being friends and knowing each other for the men we are would not be possible under the mask of me as always a Dom and him as always a sub. This new “freedom” has allowed him to serve as my kink mentor, female anatomy advisor, baseball coach, tech support hotline, my hole at a few specific times (see these posts), and, most importantly, my friend which is something I have grown to value tremendously.

All that said, we still fuck like bunnies and I still own his ass in private when we can (at least every month) and will continue to do so too!  Lucky for all of us is that he recaps those episodes as well!

The Dog (Stella): Stella is my girl and probably my favorite. She’s a spoiled terrier who has multiple beds (two heated and one cooled) and has a busier schedule than me and Axel combined. That said, she’s often referred to in the posts as an annoyance, but I love her dearly.

The Penis (Mr. Winky): RIP Mr. Winky, we now call you Cock.

So, that is where we stand, Joelsub32.  Care to send me another email complaining about words?

Yesterday, on this blog, Thumper and I received a really long, detailed, thought out set of questions from our friend Skipper in Nevada.  Thumper created a new post yesterday based on one question and I am going to do the same for a section or two of the question as it progressed.  Also, I know that Thumper has one more response that is coming quite soon as well.  As an FYI, the entire question can be found within the comments on my favorite post, The Bisexual Bunny Tongue, by clicking here.

So, Skipper says:  I’m surprised by my confusion with the Drew / Thumper relationship! I can’t explain my confusion easily? I consider myself a smart rational guy. In reality the relationship between you and Thumper is a relationship between two people. That’s what people do… engage in relationships! I get that.
But…..?

Well, I honestly don’t know how to best answer that except that I think, just think, that perhaps some people think he and I should just be about sex, or friendship, or just to be quiet about both as the stereotypical masculine male has not historically been known as a type who expresses emotion or lets people, especially strangers, into their “inner world”.  I have to ask you, do you think it’s just weird because this might be the first time that you are actually watching two people form a friendship inclusive, yet not fully so as it started, of their kink bond?  I only ask it that way because you are right, people form relationships, but rarely are you on inside of the formation of the relationship? Or, seeing two people who have an incredible amount of commonalities and odd historical relevant experience from the “inside” and we have both allowed that here since day one and, aside from the fake name here or there, are both nearly 100% honest about our loves, our lives, and ourselves.

That said, let me tell you that you are not the only one who has asked this, but you ARE the only one who has asked in a way I care to answer.  Some have been about how a gay guy and a guy with a family could even be friends or other things filled with the same type bullshit or even negative ones not worthy of my time typing, but I sense you really do care, so I hope that helps.

Also, a bit later in your question you ask:

How can two people like Drew and Thumper have a relationship that is really cool and both of them coincidentally be really great at expressing things in writing? amazing! Whats the odds of that?)

I wish I knew.  It’s CRAZY, but I think the writing and the way we express ourselves is one of the main reasons we connected before and after we connected.  You may remember, but a few of the very first commenters accused us of being the same person, something I hope we have disproven by now and with those clouded pictures.  So, the writing is just a fantastic coincidence of sorts, but if you were to spend time with us, together or apart, we pretty much both talk the way we write too – random, off the wall, simple, long, deep, stupid, etc –  it makes for a fun lunch.  It’s just another commonality.

(Paraphrase) I have to express feeling a bit of weirdness about the fact that I consider you, Thumper and Belle to be my friends and that I find it odd that I worry about you all as a group and as individuals, etc?  

Please don’t feel funny about that at all.  That’s why we post in the format we do, because I suspect someone is reading my stuff like I used to read Thumper’s – just looking for advice, ideas, or even internet connected and covered acceptance of who they are.  While it still smarts a bit that you left Axel out of that (I kid), I have to tell you I used to be one of Thumper’s greatest online fans – now I am just one of Thumper’s great fans in life.  It’s funny, because, like you, I knew all the backstories that have been shared, thought Belle was the hottest, coolest wife ever, and thought the Bunny was a God who had to be the coolest guy in the whole world.  I could even see them living in this huge home and each driving  five Porsches with custom locking butt plug docking stations for him, BUT, what I met was the real man who has let me into his life and I having seen for myself that all of those things are true in his day to day life – except the docking stations don’t lock in reality.  Seriously, don’t feel guilty or creepy about it in any way, it’s what we put out there so enjoy it.  Learn from it.  Etc

To sum that up, I see it in the same way that Betty White has always been my fantasy Grandmother. I. LOVE. HER, but,  I have never met her or even seen her in person, but the day that woman dies, I will be under a table rocking back and forth for at least four minutes and about 16 seconds (well, I will have things to do I am sure).  Does this make sense?

Keep the questions coming and maybe we can help decipher things for you!  Oh, and if you DO decide to start stalking, start with him. He’s much easier to track down than me!!

DD

So, this morning about 3:53 I felt the hand on me from across the bed.  THE hand.  You know, the one that is not just the accidental brush in the middle of the night, or the “stop snoring you jackass”, but THE one.  THE touch you just feel deep in your core that it’s going to lead to something probably pretty good with a side of sticky.

However, this time was different for me.  While, don’t get me wrong, my nether regions did not want to say no even though it was also the first night I had really had good sleep in weeks, but suddenly my mind went into the “fuck, if we fuck and I finish am I still going to want this or am I going to want to run down the stairs and go hide in my warm office” kind of thought.  We have discussed this before either here or in one of Thumper’s blogs or comments that I have always had a slight need to run away from the person or, especially the activity, if it involved kink of some capacity.  I know this is not uncommon and have never thought about it until a few weeks ago. That side of me is generally a “that was nice but let’s pack up the gear and this kinky mindset and not discuss it again for a bit and, oh, what about Mexican for dinner?” kind of thing.

So, all that to say, I worried that I would feel that way again after the “deed”, but me being me and nasty thoughts being what they are, I decided I would just deal with it later and enjoy the moment.

And, oh, did I enjoy the moment.  Frankly, it wasn’t a porn style fuck fest and it wasn’t just a moment, it was mostly about 60 minutes of a deep, 220 pounds of muscle on top 180 pounds of muscle tight, heavy, intense cuddle, some touching here and there, a mouth here and there, and then, the moment times two.  At that point I was slightly terrified that my vanilla mind would wage battle and I would run downstairs naked erasing the chalkboard in a mild panic that pretending it never existed.

However, you know what, I rolled over and went to sleep.  One of those 5am deep sleeps with non-conflicting dreams of what I plan to do for the husband and to the boy.  It was a lovely nap leading to a lovely feeling of true switch success.