Flying Heavy with the TV On

It’s late on a Thursday night and I am sitting in the front row of the first class cabin on yet another plane ready to crawl out of my skin because flying on Thursday night is just miserable. It’s a combination of business guys like me trying to get home and families who are trying to start a weekend vacation a bit earlier. It’s always chaos and I really prefer staying and taking a 5am flight out the next day, but every time I book my trips I seem to not remember this because all I see is an extra night home with Axel. Of course, it’s almost always at this skin crawling level but, tonight, it’s worse because it’s raining in Atlanta and that means that everything runs on Hartsfield time, which, on nights like this is two hours behind real world time. So, I will get home around 1am, take a shower, (finally) eat dinner, and then crawl in bed with Axel for about four hours before he has to get up. Not really quality time, but it will count for something.

It’s been a heavy week. I am not going to say it was a bad week, but just a heavy week. One of the Scotts has been really freaky sick and in the hospital for a week which has caused Axel (and me) stress and worry (he’s going to be fine)(but cardiac things can happen to a fit thirtysomething), Axel and I have been arranging his surgery dates, care plans, and time off of work, which, for me means a lot of rescheduling since I am generally booked six months out, and, as you know, Thumper and I have declared a “break” which is essentially no more than officially labeling what, pretty much, was/is just our normal routine when we are not in each other’s presence. Add to this that I have, apparently, been labeled the destroyer of the environment because I often like to leave the TV on when I leave hotel rooms, and all that just creates the word “heavy”.

Anyway, a few days ago Thumper posted about the break on DT linking it back to mine where he likens this to Ross and Rachel and then goes so far as to even dare think that he is the Rachel in the situation. Perhaps this is part of that one sidedness showing, but I didn’t like that post much, though I adored the comments, and I can’t exactly express why, which bothers me further. It’s a topic he and I have not had enough time to actually discuss, so I am leaving this right here for right now and one day one of us will pick this back up surely.

As for the Scotts, they have weaved their way into our world in a way neither Axel or I expected, but I have to say we are delighted they have. It took a bit of time for the weirdness to go away, but Axel and I found a groove and I no longer feel any stupid jealous like feelings when he is with them at all. In fact, as I have mentioned, I have a bit of a crush on both of them which has been acknowledged in return, so that door is open now too and, as surprising as it is since Axel and I have said for years that we’d never play together, I can really see me stepping through that door one day fairly soon, which is both exciting and scary in that good way scary can be.

Finally, tomorrow the BEAUTIFUL “Axel”, which is appropriately named because Axel helped design and purchased it, device arrives between 3:15 and 5:15 CST. This device is likely going to make a significant change in our momentum and we are both quite excited about that, though we have put the cautionary brakes on anything “official” until around December as I will be traveling internationally again for two weeks starting next week and he is swamped during the holidays as families create chaos and people need counseling in a dramatically higher rate starting around Thanksgiving. But, that’s plenty of time for me to practice and adjust and we will likely have some goal based lock ups during this period that I will be writing about more in the coming days.

I’m almost home, so happy Friday.

Oh, about that god damn TV thing, FOR THE RECORD, I tend to leave the power on because at most hotels you have to go through about 27 menus and advertisements before you can get to the channels and/or I travel with an Apple TV and if the TV is off I have to then crawl behind it and adjust the inputs each time. It’s irritating and I am in a hotel room just enough that these small little annoyances can just make a bad day worse. Fuck, I have rented enough Praises (or is it Prii?), to offset that stupid amount of energy, dammit. Don’t judge me. It’s really just me being practical.